Lilly's Pond

Harrumph! I am back in the boot room at the cottage tonight, I thought it best! I had been fed - in The Manor. You notice how I capitlise the name just to add an air of gravitas. So having been fed, I went for a leisurely patrol of the gardens so as not to arouse suspicions over my suspicions about the pond water showing up in the concrete pond at the far end of the gardens.

Manor Hoomun was down there when I arrived and I could hear him talking to no-one in particular (much like The Owner did) about Lilly looking good as he prodded about at the edge of the concrete pond. I'm not sure who Lilly is yet but he clearly had an affection for her. Unaware of who the other wild residents of the gardens are yet, I crept closer and managed to disturbed Hen Fesant who made a frightful row and scared me half to death and so I ran, mainly in panic. Next thing I knew I was floundering around in the concrete pond which I now understand to be Lillies and I appear to have got the blame for taking Manor Hoomun with me. He was spluttering loudly as he climbed out in a very exaggerated fashion with pond weed draped over his shoulder and a pretty pink flower perched delicately on his head. Never mind that, I was covered in mud as well, although I was clearly going to get no sympathy at all. So I opted to take myself back to the cottage to my proper boot room after having first stopped to collect my duvet from The Manor and drag it back with me. Has anyone seen The Owner? Life was never this complicated before he went. Perhaps it was the badger's poo.

The Dirty Concrete Pond

The Owner has still not come back and I begin to wonder if it was just one too many of my unusual smells or something. Now that I am a part time resident at The Manor I feel a little more able to include the grounds in my patrols of the farm and I have something rather interesting to report.

Over the back end of the gardens, near the marsh that The Owner was always at great pains to keep me away from I have found a big concrete lined pond...... full of dirty water! Now, I have a dilemma! Is my new part time host really the pond water thief? Has he really been taking it from the pond all along and not as I had reported been due to Tanker Driver Hoomun? I need to watch this very carefully but without making my suspicions public until I can be sure.

He's in the Papers!

Does this explain anything? Has anyone seen The Owner?

Oh Lordy! Manor Hoomun's grand kids came to see them today. Where is The Owner when you need him???

I'm back!

Thank you all for your concerns and welcome back. It is a very troubling time, has anyone seen The Owner? His tea mug still sits where he left it, with green mould now growing out of the top of it, well I can't work the dishwasher! I have patrolled daily across the hills in search of him, well ok there is a very interesting badger carcass up there to be fair, but The Owner is my primary cause for concern at the moment.

I have been unable to report from The Manor, it appears that Manor Hoomun and Lady Manor Hoomun don't do computers. I did search the downstairs for one but was unable to find anything. There may be one upstairs and although The Owner doesn't normally let me upstairs here, I didn't fancy my chances there either. Nothing to do with Manor Hoomun's rules, just with the amount of polished wood on that grand staircase I didn't fancy my chances of getting to the top and staying the right way up! I also didn't fancy my chances of remaining a welcome visitor if there was any repeat of the famous ancestral aspidistra incident either. You should see the size of the boot room in there as well! I was completely spoilt for choice as to which corner I should drag my duvet into for my bed each night. You could have fitted the entire cottage in there!

WE HAVE ELECTRIC

Yesss! We have electric! Owners Daughter came to see me and gave me some Bonio's and some feed so all is nearly well with the world again... well my world anyway. I've been ok, they took me in at the Manor which was good of them but those shiny floors? Oh man! The paws go one way and legs the other every time I tried to walk across them.

I'm afraid the hereditary ancestral aspidistra was a victim to my slight instability on polished floors. After apparently 100 years with the same plant they were due to replace it I would have thought. More later, much to do now I have electric. Has anyone seen The Owner? He still hasn't been seen!

The Last Post!

I've been on a patrol all round the farm; followed where I last saw The Owner heading through the morning mist and have come back home. Not a sign of him! The house is cold and except for the noise the electric metre is making all is quiet. I know The Owner does something to the meter when it makes that noise but I have no idea what or even if paws and claws can manage it! I'll go on another patrol later and see if I ca