Last night had it's moments of great personal triumph for me and also moments of some confusion. Last night The Owner's friend, who for now I must call Bonio Man, (he has another name that The Owner is always calling him but I am too polite to mention and too innocent to understand) he came came and gave me one of the Bonio's out of his own special box he keeps specially for me in The Owner's studio.
Then he took The Owner off to get some petrol for his mower. I tried my little 'Gimme another Bonio', dance when they got back but he didn't so he isn't my favourite now. But I'm sure that will change again when next he visits and responds to my little dance! I should explain that I find that The Owner's mower is something akin to his Dyson and terrifies me! On this occasion I thought I would steel myself and be very brave and I sat on the front door mat just outside the front porch and watched him cut all the lawns. I was so pleased with myself, at my bravery, that I launched forth when The Owner shut the mower down to go and see The Owner, that I forgot he had opened a bottle of wine and poured a glass and left them both on the table by the front door. Ooops! That's ok, he has another glass indoors...... and bottle. So my triumph was to beat my fear of the mower. My confusion involves my nemesis recently; Blackbird. Mowing finished and glass cleared up he opens another bottle and pours himself a glass and sits on the lawn. Behind the cherry orchard I can hear Blackbird giving it big noise with his "dog, dog, dog, cat, cat, catcatcatcatcat". I don't know why as there isn't a cat for miles! Then comes the source of my confusion, Blackbird comes down and has a good rummage around in the grass box from The Owner's mower right by his feet, within launching distance of me. Now why do that when he was shouting only moments earlier about there being a dog nearby. Still it made a nice end to the day as I curled up beside The Owner with my chin on his lap as he drank his wine and watched Blackbird look for his tea. If he'd asked I would have let him have a bit of my dried food, although on second thoughts, no need to waste it! I think we may have a rook living in the trees that is either blind or stupid. One of them was clearly trying to show the stupid one something as it kept going "There, there!" and the other one would respond "Where, where?". They kept this going for about half an hour, I think I would have given up trying to show it by that time!
Thursday, 14 April 2011
It's pigeons this time!
This morning, (early, since you ask) outside the boot room door I could here that ruddy blackbird winding himself up to a crescendo. "Ooooooooooooh its a dog! Ooooooooooh its a dog! Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, cat, cat, cat, cat,cat,cat,cat etc".
Why he changed to a cat I shall never know as there aren't any cats around here and if they were I feel they would have been doing the right thing and been in bed asleep. Which to be frank is where I wish I was at that time. I had got the first bit right, I was in bed and I had got the second bit right as well until he started his infernal row on the roof above me. Suddenly, he took of across the manor gardens and all was quiet again for a moment until two Hercules from Lyneham masquerading as pigeons flew across and landed on the roof of the boot room and started gossiping among themselves. "Do you wanna know who, who, who?", asked the first. "I'd love to know who, who, who.", replied the other one. "I'll tell you who, who, who!" said the first. "Who, who, who?", urged the second. Now, please don't misunderstand me, I love a bit of gossip as much as the next dog. But these two useless bits of raptor bait never got to the point and said who had done what. A quick woof disturbed them and they flapped off to go and annoy someone else with their pointless gossip. On reflection the woof was not the best way of getting my point across and achieving enough peace to return to my slumber. I was just drifting off again when I heard The Owner come grumbling down the stairs and then evict me from my bed to go up the garden whilst he puts the kettle on. "I was sound asleep when I dreamt I heard you bark Jack!" he said as he put my breakfast in my dish. There then followed much breadmaking activity in the kitchen accompanied by singing and stuff but he is clearly getting much better at it as this time there was no scary sights with him covered in flour. However, much worse was to follow, it's very fast noisy car season again! To my understanding they still finished up back where they started! I think they must all have been using one of those useless Satnav things that The Owner threw out of the car window in a fit of pique last year after driving round and round Swindon town centre and not getting anywhere other than back where he started from!
Why he changed to a cat I shall never know as there aren't any cats around here and if they were I feel they would have been doing the right thing and been in bed asleep. Which to be frank is where I wish I was at that time. I had got the first bit right, I was in bed and I had got the second bit right as well until he started his infernal row on the roof above me. Suddenly, he took of across the manor gardens and all was quiet again for a moment until two Hercules from Lyneham masquerading as pigeons flew across and landed on the roof of the boot room and started gossiping among themselves. "Do you wanna know who, who, who?", asked the first. "I'd love to know who, who, who.", replied the other one. "I'll tell you who, who, who!" said the first. "Who, who, who?", urged the second. Now, please don't misunderstand me, I love a bit of gossip as much as the next dog. But these two useless bits of raptor bait never got to the point and said who had done what. A quick woof disturbed them and they flapped off to go and annoy someone else with their pointless gossip. On reflection the woof was not the best way of getting my point across and achieving enough peace to return to my slumber. I was just drifting off again when I heard The Owner come grumbling down the stairs and then evict me from my bed to go up the garden whilst he puts the kettle on. "I was sound asleep when I dreamt I heard you bark Jack!" he said as he put my breakfast in my dish. There then followed much breadmaking activity in the kitchen accompanied by singing and stuff but he is clearly getting much better at it as this time there was no scary sights with him covered in flour. However, much worse was to follow, it's very fast noisy car season again! To my understanding they still finished up back where they started! I think they must all have been using one of those useless Satnav things that The Owner threw out of the car window in a fit of pique last year after driving round and round Swindon town centre and not getting anywhere other than back where he started from!
Making the morning bread
Yesterday The Owner forgot to get a new loaf of bread out of the freezer. Now I did warn you he was in a funny frame of mind. So instead of going out and getting one in from the freezer in the shed like any normal and sane person would have done, he announces that he has all the ingredients and he will get up early and make himself a loaf of bread for his breakfast 'bread and marmalade'.
I just know this is going to end in tears! Half past four he comes crashing down the stairs this morning. Only crashing because he wouldn't turn the light on because "its spring and the nights are drawing out and we shouldn't need them on". I watched him, bemused, for a while as big bowls and pots and scales and stuff came out of the cupboard, before I headed for my comfy cushion by the fire. There was still a little warmth left in it and it would probably be safest in there. Why he was going to all that trouble escapes me as he has a perfectly good breadmaker on the worktop gathering dust. My curiosity got the better of me after an hour and I wandered out to see what he was doing. I was a little taken aback at first, well it was about the same shape as The Owner, except his normally greying hair was now white with flour. For that matter so was the floor, cupboards, stove, sink and even some up on the lights on the ceiling! I left quickly before it got me as well and returned to my cushion. I was awoken next by the smell of burning wafting through the cottage and noted a blue tinge to the air coming from the kitchen. So all was going well then! First batch failed he drags the breadmaker out from under the layers of dust topped off with a layer of flour which matched the rest of the kitchen. Quite why he doesn't go and just get a loaf out of the freezer I am not sure. It is now ten o-clock and the bread maker has long since finished and he is still asleep on the sofa! I was sure he had an important meeting first thing this morning, I wonder if I should wake him? Let me have another snooze first whilst I decide how I should do it.
I just know this is going to end in tears! Half past four he comes crashing down the stairs this morning. Only crashing because he wouldn't turn the light on because "its spring and the nights are drawing out and we shouldn't need them on". I watched him, bemused, for a while as big bowls and pots and scales and stuff came out of the cupboard, before I headed for my comfy cushion by the fire. There was still a little warmth left in it and it would probably be safest in there. Why he was going to all that trouble escapes me as he has a perfectly good breadmaker on the worktop gathering dust. My curiosity got the better of me after an hour and I wandered out to see what he was doing. I was a little taken aback at first, well it was about the same shape as The Owner, except his normally greying hair was now white with flour. For that matter so was the floor, cupboards, stove, sink and even some up on the lights on the ceiling! I left quickly before it got me as well and returned to my cushion. I was awoken next by the smell of burning wafting through the cottage and noted a blue tinge to the air coming from the kitchen. So all was going well then! First batch failed he drags the breadmaker out from under the layers of dust topped off with a layer of flour which matched the rest of the kitchen. Quite why he doesn't go and just get a loaf out of the freezer I am not sure. It is now ten o-clock and the bread maker has long since finished and he is still asleep on the sofa! I was sure he had an important meeting first thing this morning, I wonder if I should wake him? Let me have another snooze first whilst I decide how I should do it.
On Mothering Sunday
It has been a strangely quiet day here today. The Owner came downstairs in a strangely melancholic mood and these are always a worry as you never quite know what his behaviour will turn to. He has moped around the house and lit candles everywhere, frankly I worry about the soot on the ceiling as you would imagine.
There are two special candles lit by the picture of his Mum who I never knew but clearly has a lot to answer for and seems to be in some way responsible so far today for his apparent melancholy. After two large mugs of tea and an equally large coffee he starts to fidget and this is the dangerous time coz you never know quite what scheme is beginning to hatch inside his mind. Suddenly he jumps up....... a plan has clearly formed! He goes out into the boot room and rummages around behind the fridge and drags out something covered in cobwebs and other dust. Something which clearly hasn't seen the light of day for quite a while. I think it is called an ironing board. His ironing and drying seems normally to comprise putting wet clothes in tumble dryer... taking dry clothes out of tumble dryer and throwing them into basket in a heap. Then each morning the said heap is rummaged around until he finds the least creased shirt and putting it on with a jacket or jumper quickly over the top so no-one knows he hasn't ironed it. Several shirts which had clearly been the most creased for quite a while were liberated from behind the tumble dryer, brushed down and put in a heap for ironing. The iron was also liberated from under the big heap of shirts that were too creased to wear and all were put to good use. The heap of neatly folded shirts and towels and other stuff was growing steadily as he tried to convince, um, well himself mainly, that this wouldn't take a moment to do. Oh how we laughed, as he squirted water out of his steam iron all over me as I curled up on the carpet until, perhaps unsurprisingly, it ran out of water. So he goes grumbling off out into the kitchen to find a jug to replenish the water. Now picture this, the dining room carpet is covered with little heaps of freshly ironed stuff and there was no where for me to curl up for my mid morning snooze. So while he was out in the kitchen looking for a clean jug and making himself his second coffee of the morning (he is going to be so hyper later) I curled up on top of the two biggest heaps on the floor. Towels and sheets. I was a little lopsided but otherwise, after a bit of scratching around and rearranging, I was feeling quite comfortable on top. However on his return, he seemed a little less than enamoured with my choice of cushion for my snooze! I am now shut in the bootroom since you ask!
There are two special candles lit by the picture of his Mum who I never knew but clearly has a lot to answer for and seems to be in some way responsible so far today for his apparent melancholy. After two large mugs of tea and an equally large coffee he starts to fidget and this is the dangerous time coz you never know quite what scheme is beginning to hatch inside his mind. Suddenly he jumps up....... a plan has clearly formed! He goes out into the boot room and rummages around behind the fridge and drags out something covered in cobwebs and other dust. Something which clearly hasn't seen the light of day for quite a while. I think it is called an ironing board. His ironing and drying seems normally to comprise putting wet clothes in tumble dryer... taking dry clothes out of tumble dryer and throwing them into basket in a heap. Then each morning the said heap is rummaged around until he finds the least creased shirt and putting it on with a jacket or jumper quickly over the top so no-one knows he hasn't ironed it. Several shirts which had clearly been the most creased for quite a while were liberated from behind the tumble dryer, brushed down and put in a heap for ironing. The iron was also liberated from under the big heap of shirts that were too creased to wear and all were put to good use. The heap of neatly folded shirts and towels and other stuff was growing steadily as he tried to convince, um, well himself mainly, that this wouldn't take a moment to do. Oh how we laughed, as he squirted water out of his steam iron all over me as I curled up on the carpet until, perhaps unsurprisingly, it ran out of water. So he goes grumbling off out into the kitchen to find a jug to replenish the water. Now picture this, the dining room carpet is covered with little heaps of freshly ironed stuff and there was no where for me to curl up for my mid morning snooze. So while he was out in the kitchen looking for a clean jug and making himself his second coffee of the morning (he is going to be so hyper later) I curled up on top of the two biggest heaps on the floor. Towels and sheets. I was a little lopsided but otherwise, after a bit of scratching around and rearranging, I was feeling quite comfortable on top. However on his return, he seemed a little less than enamoured with my choice of cushion for my snooze! I am now shut in the bootroom since you ask!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
