This week has been a cold one outside, but guess what? I have been warm!! Owners Daughter has been staying whilst she gets the cottage ready for the return of The Owner. I have been up to the hospital every day with Owners Daughter to see The Owner which has been fun, we have been out in the gardens walking and throwing sticks and fetching them.
He throws, I fetch, there has been a break in his training but we are doing well again on the he throws - he fetches training when I get fed up and wander off in search of a crust from the gardeners lunch behind what remains of the greenhouses. We have been restricted to throwing soft toys now, as there is only one greenhouse left and the man that supplied the pot plants inside the hospital has withdrawn from the contract until after The Owner has been sent home again. One old man who has lived there for ages and never spoken to anyone has laughed at me every time I try and cross the shiny floor and he even spoke today. He said "Oicumerejack!", not sure what language he speaks, he maybe from Devizes. Owners Daughter has been cleaning up at home which was a good thing coz she is a little easier to deal with than The Owner when they find his jackets and jumpers in my bed in the bootroom. Bad thing is, I now have to ask to go out as she keeps shutting the back door, grumbling about the cold and the draught. I've managed perfectly alright with the door open these last few weeks! I think she comes from Bournemouth so she may not be used to the outdoors. But now I think about it she does grumble a lot, must get it from The Owner!
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
The Owner!!! I've found The Owner!!!!!!!!
Well I have to report yesterday as being a little strange. First, Owners Daughter turns up and takes me out in her car. Now I like going out with her in the car coz I get to ride in the front seat with the window down which The Owner never allowed me to do. We turned up at a strange hospital in town and met Daughter Diesel Dog Owner there as well.
Small Boy would have made the entire family, but he wasn't to be seen and I couldn't hear any loud crashes or bangs so he presumably wasn't there at all. Then I get put on my lead and taken into the hospital. Now, in the manor you remember the trouble I had with slippery floors? Well this place had floors like mirrors and try as I might I could not stand up properly and immediately managed to separate one old lady from her wheel chair and another from her zimmer frame which did have a bit of a comedy element to it but no one except Daughter Diesel Dog Owner found it funny and Nurse frowned at her a lot as she picked two old ladies up and re-attached them to their various devices. We walked down a corridor and, oh mercy, found a carpet to walk on as we entered a room. Oh dear! More shiny floors! There in the corner, sat in a chair, was a man wearing a bath robe. Well he looked like The Owner, but The Owner doesn't have a robe at all and this one wasn't grumbling so it couldn't be him! Then Station Nurse came in, not sure why she is called Station Nurse because I didn't see any buses or trains on the way in, Man In The Corner started grumbling at Station Nurse when she told him that he had some visitors. He is grumbling! It is The Owner! What's he doing in hospital? Don't care! So I did my silly run around the room....... forgot the slippery floors............oh dear! Many nurses were called to put them all back in their chairs and re-attach them all to their various devices and a gardener was also called to re-pot what to me looked suspiciously like another ancestral aspidistra. But it worked! The Owner was laughing and Owners Daughter was standing there looking at him with her hands on her hips and frowning as she does when he does something she doesn't approve of. Daughter Diesel Dog Owner was asked to leave with me then but The Owner came outside with me and walked around the gardens. It was great fun as he threw sticks for me! I'm not sure that he should have thrown them that close to the greenhouses though. There was a very large crash came from one of them, not sure if it was from the stick or whether Small Boy was there after all. I'll let you know.
Small Boy would have made the entire family, but he wasn't to be seen and I couldn't hear any loud crashes or bangs so he presumably wasn't there at all. Then I get put on my lead and taken into the hospital. Now, in the manor you remember the trouble I had with slippery floors? Well this place had floors like mirrors and try as I might I could not stand up properly and immediately managed to separate one old lady from her wheel chair and another from her zimmer frame which did have a bit of a comedy element to it but no one except Daughter Diesel Dog Owner found it funny and Nurse frowned at her a lot as she picked two old ladies up and re-attached them to their various devices. We walked down a corridor and, oh mercy, found a carpet to walk on as we entered a room. Oh dear! More shiny floors! There in the corner, sat in a chair, was a man wearing a bath robe. Well he looked like The Owner, but The Owner doesn't have a robe at all and this one wasn't grumbling so it couldn't be him! Then Station Nurse came in, not sure why she is called Station Nurse because I didn't see any buses or trains on the way in, Man In The Corner started grumbling at Station Nurse when she told him that he had some visitors. He is grumbling! It is The Owner! What's he doing in hospital? Don't care! So I did my silly run around the room....... forgot the slippery floors............oh dear! Many nurses were called to put them all back in their chairs and re-attach them all to their various devices and a gardener was also called to re-pot what to me looked suspiciously like another ancestral aspidistra. But it worked! The Owner was laughing and Owners Daughter was standing there looking at him with her hands on her hips and frowning as she does when he does something she doesn't approve of. Daughter Diesel Dog Owner was asked to leave with me then but The Owner came outside with me and walked around the gardens. It was great fun as he threw sticks for me! I'm not sure that he should have thrown them that close to the greenhouses though. There was a very large crash came from one of them, not sure if it was from the stick or whether Small Boy was there after all. I'll let you know.
The hospital
The day started well, the sun was warm as I had a quick patrol of the manor gardens and went down and found my new best mate Adge the Badge. There was a rather inviting dollop of badger poo down near the set, just ripe for rolling in, but I resisted.
I've only had a quick roll just the once since I have been part time living at the manor and frankly it wasn't worth it. Dinner was thrown outside in my dish and I was not allowed to cross the threshold and The Owner isn't there to hosepope me down to make me clean again. Now I know that ordinarily it is a bone of contention between The Owner and me but after having to put up with it for three days my initial delight was starting to wear off. Anyway I was sat on the front steps to the manor steaming gently in the morning sun from the dew when I heard Manor Hoomun come down the stairs to let me in. Then he said something strange, "Someone special wants to see you today Jack!" Well I thought maybe Robbie Williams was coming down from his house but then Owners Daughter turned up, fetched my lead from the cottage and after having a cup of tea with Manor Hoomun and Lady Manor Hoomun during which there was much serious conversation, she put me in her car and off we went. Now I like cars, they are my favourite, but I haven't been in one since The Owner went off, so it was nice to see the village and places like that from a slightly higher vantage point again. She took me off to town and to the hospital, not the hospital where The Owner has been when he gets bandaged up from time to time but a different one. I'm not really too sure what's going on here, this is a strange place, but I have to turn the laptop off now while we are here so I will have to tell you more later.
I've only had a quick roll just the once since I have been part time living at the manor and frankly it wasn't worth it. Dinner was thrown outside in my dish and I was not allowed to cross the threshold and The Owner isn't there to hosepope me down to make me clean again. Now I know that ordinarily it is a bone of contention between The Owner and me but after having to put up with it for three days my initial delight was starting to wear off. Anyway I was sat on the front steps to the manor steaming gently in the morning sun from the dew when I heard Manor Hoomun come down the stairs to let me in. Then he said something strange, "Someone special wants to see you today Jack!" Well I thought maybe Robbie Williams was coming down from his house but then Owners Daughter turned up, fetched my lead from the cottage and after having a cup of tea with Manor Hoomun and Lady Manor Hoomun during which there was much serious conversation, she put me in her car and off we went. Now I like cars, they are my favourite, but I haven't been in one since The Owner went off, so it was nice to see the village and places like that from a slightly higher vantage point again. She took me off to town and to the hospital, not the hospital where The Owner has been when he gets bandaged up from time to time but a different one. I'm not really too sure what's going on here, this is a strange place, but I have to turn the laptop off now while we are here so I will have to tell you more later.
The green canvass bag
The weekend had been going swimmingly, new best friend, offloaded a load of misdemeanour's on to him. Met Vic R again, The Owner is rumoured to have been found. Party last night which I got fed at and another party tonight.... and that's where it all went wrong!
Having a background of being bred as a gun dog and being trained on Lord Bath's estate (had I mentioned that?) The Owner used to keep me in trim by sending me on a ridiculous chase after a canvas bag stuffed with heaven knows what. Well tonight, round at the manor, they had all had a little to drink and were throwing stuff for me to retrieve and then rewarding me with little treats of sandwiches and caviar and stuff like that. Not sure about the caviar but the sandwiches were good. I did try some of that fizzy stuff in a dark green bottle but the bubbles went up my nose and made me burp.
Anyway, it was an easy mistake to make I thought. There was this little green canvas bag, a little bigger than I am used to I admit but it was green and canvas so I picked it up and ran off across the lawns with it. Yes, I know there was a bit of rope attached but I thought it would sort itself out and everyone was laughing at me and cheering me on so I ran faster with it. It's funny how you don't notice " Go Jack Go!" change to "oh no Jack no!" and then to "NO JACK NO!!!!!!!!!!", when caught up in the fun of it.
Well, when the nice men turn up to take the tent down in the morning they won't have a lot to do now but the caterers may have to wait for half an acre of canvass to be lifted up before they can get at the remains of the food.
I'll be in the boot room at the cottage if anyone wants me!
Having a background of being bred as a gun dog and being trained on Lord Bath's estate (had I mentioned that?) The Owner used to keep me in trim by sending me on a ridiculous chase after a canvas bag stuffed with heaven knows what. Well tonight, round at the manor, they had all had a little to drink and were throwing stuff for me to retrieve and then rewarding me with little treats of sandwiches and caviar and stuff like that. Not sure about the caviar but the sandwiches were good. I did try some of that fizzy stuff in a dark green bottle but the bubbles went up my nose and made me burp.
Anyway, it was an easy mistake to make I thought. There was this little green canvas bag, a little bigger than I am used to I admit but it was green and canvas so I picked it up and ran off across the lawns with it. Yes, I know there was a bit of rope attached but I thought it would sort itself out and everyone was laughing at me and cheering me on so I ran faster with it. It's funny how you don't notice " Go Jack Go!" change to "oh no Jack no!" and then to "NO JACK NO!!!!!!!!!!", when caught up in the fun of it.
Well, when the nice men turn up to take the tent down in the morning they won't have a lot to do now but the caterers may have to wait for half an acre of canvass to be lifted up before they can get at the remains of the food.
I'll be in the boot room at the cottage if anyone wants me!
Sunday, 10 October 2010
The Christening
Well today I have a new best friend! Yesterday was a busy one round at the manor when Party Organiser Hoomun turned up and was very theatrical, I think I ought to refer to her as Theatrical Party Organiser Hoomun from now on. She was as theatrical taking all the goodies out of the cupboards as she was putting them in the cupboards when Tesco Yoof delivered them in the week.
Then these nice men turned up and put up an enormous tent on the lawns. I say nice men because they all gave me the crusts from the sandwiches that Lady Manor Hoomun took out for them. Enormous tent smelled a bit musty when they had put it up so I tried to help make it smell a bit better by weeing up the door post but it was not appreciated and they all chased me off. All the family turned up just after lunch for a 'christening'. Not sure what one of them is so I tagged along when they all went off to try and get some idea what a christening was and whether I should have an opinion on the matter. When we got there, guess who we met? Vic R was there and wearing a long white dress too! He kept flicking water at me and saying things like, "Bless you". Well I wasn't finding this at all funny and thought that an opinion may have been in order but before I could express it he picked up one of the grandchildren and started pouring water over her head. She, sure as heck had an opinion on the matter and they couldn't shut her up so they all went back to the manor and stood around in the tent whilst Theatrical Party Organiser gave everyone sandwiches in a very theatrical manner. It was when some of the Hoomuns were standing up and talking at great length to everyone else and everyone else was applauding politely that my new best friend made an appearance. A badger from the set in the paddock came under the side of the tent, presumably looking for sandwiched and cakes as well and caused a right old rumpuss with kids running and ladies standing on chairs and men trying to be all heroic (as long as it didn't involve getting too close to Badger). I did my bit to save the day and went along and cleared up the spillages as Badger was causing them and I was getting all the praise for being brave. As he is now mny newest best friend I think I shall henceforth refer to him as Adge The Badge, I managed to get him blamed for one or two other of my indiscretions at the same time as well. I thought it right to return the favour and as Reg was away I went and left the potting shed door open so he could get at the bird nuts and judging by the shouting from down there this morning I think he may have found them. They keep telling me The Owner has been found but I haven't seen him as yet but I will keep you posted.
Then these nice men turned up and put up an enormous tent on the lawns. I say nice men because they all gave me the crusts from the sandwiches that Lady Manor Hoomun took out for them. Enormous tent smelled a bit musty when they had put it up so I tried to help make it smell a bit better by weeing up the door post but it was not appreciated and they all chased me off. All the family turned up just after lunch for a 'christening'. Not sure what one of them is so I tagged along when they all went off to try and get some idea what a christening was and whether I should have an opinion on the matter. When we got there, guess who we met? Vic R was there and wearing a long white dress too! He kept flicking water at me and saying things like, "Bless you". Well I wasn't finding this at all funny and thought that an opinion may have been in order but before I could express it he picked up one of the grandchildren and started pouring water over her head. She, sure as heck had an opinion on the matter and they couldn't shut her up so they all went back to the manor and stood around in the tent whilst Theatrical Party Organiser gave everyone sandwiches in a very theatrical manner. It was when some of the Hoomuns were standing up and talking at great length to everyone else and everyone else was applauding politely that my new best friend made an appearance. A badger from the set in the paddock came under the side of the tent, presumably looking for sandwiched and cakes as well and caused a right old rumpuss with kids running and ladies standing on chairs and men trying to be all heroic (as long as it didn't involve getting too close to Badger). I did my bit to save the day and went along and cleared up the spillages as Badger was causing them and I was getting all the praise for being brave. As he is now mny newest best friend I think I shall henceforth refer to him as Adge The Badge, I managed to get him blamed for one or two other of my indiscretions at the same time as well. I thought it right to return the favour and as Reg was away I went and left the potting shed door open so he could get at the bird nuts and judging by the shouting from down there this morning I think he may have found them. They keep telling me The Owner has been found but I haven't seen him as yet but I will keep you posted.
Fan Mail has arrived
Postman has delivered again. To me!!!! My secret admirer has sent me doggie chews again.... to me!!!! All we need now is his grumpiness to return and the equilibrium has been restored. Has anyone seen The Owner?
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