Bonio's!!!!!!!!!! My favourite

She does love me! Well, after the little debacle when Tesco Hoomun Yoof last delivered and also considering there was no Bonios for me I was beginning to think I was not loved! Sniff! When out of the blue, another Tesco delivery with the same Tesco Hoomun Yoof at the wheel! He did avoid the trolley which caused the problem last time and I, for my part decided to avoid rounding the corner of the cottage at too high a speed to avoid any untoward interaction this time round. Well you could have knocked me down with an empty Bonio box!. Just look what Owners Daughter had bought me. Well, OK, so strictly speaking The Owner bought them but he doesn't know that. I am a happy pooch today!

Tesco Delivery Yoof Visits

Oh I'm so sorry for not getting round to reporting on progress recently. I have been rather busy with my new found fame at the hospital, getting several, who had not had a lot to say to the world for several seasons and many reasons, to start to talk again.

The Owner and I, on our daily walks around the hospital grounds had acquired such a following of late that on one occasion, when I was there, when the nurses were changing shifts, the ward sister got quite panicked as she thought all her patients had done a runner! She came running across the gardens looking somewhat flustered, then looked relieved and at once became very firm as she chased 15 people back into the ward. This was all very amusing and a bit perplexing for those concerned as only 12 of them were patients, the other three were just waiting for a bus and came across to see what the fuss was about. Last night Owners Daughter found his card and account details for Tesco and placed an order. The order wasn't quite as large as the one they had round at the manor when Theatrical Party Organiser was there, but it still took up most of the van when Tesco Hoomun Yoof arrived to deliver. That was when the day took a down turn! He came with a mate to help him move the boxes and his mate got a big trolley thing out of the van. Now I know The Owner always has a box of Bonios in one of the boxes for me, had I mentioned that I like Bonios? So I got very excited and started running around the garden in a very excited manner. I would make a high speed appearance from round the corner of the cottage and dive through the hedge, down into the ditch and then round to do it all again. I thought that might attract some of his attention and I may get a Bonio out of him. Had I mentioned that I like Bonios? I decided to alter my course slightly on this one trip and thought that a quick once around my tree that I wee up may have been enough to get a Bonio out of them. When I rounded the corner there he was, right across the path! So I opted for the only route I could see, which was between him and his trolley. Well it was too late and I was going too fast to try any fancy manoeuvres and even this one didn't quite work. It seems that there isn't actually room for me between his legs and the trolley! Owners Daughter was already standing with her hands on her hips by the time I worked out which way was up again. But to be fair to her there was a few bags of shopping which needed clearing up and Tesco Hoomun Yoof was complaining bitterly about the state of his trousers and that he had to sit all day in them. He left with another pair of The Owners trousers and a length of baler twine to hold them up with whilst Owners Daughter put all the shopping back in bags. Well if she looked more at what she was doing and not glare at me she might get on a bit quicker! I think I am going to be in the calf sheds at the farm if anyone wants me.

My weekend resolution which I shall carry forth for ever more, NEVER, EVER, TRUST A HOOMUN! Owners Daughter was upstairs doing whatever she does every morning before she "faces her public" as she tells me every morning. When suddenly sh calls down the stairs, "Jack, come on, come up here"! Well The Owner doesn't let me up there normally so she immediately went up in my opinion as I bounded excitedly up the stairs. When I got to the top she invited me into the bathroom and then closed the door behind me. What was she doing?!?! She told me what a good boy I am which I know already and then picked me up, what is she doing I thought. Are my legs not working? They were when I ran up the stairs! Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! That smells of lavenders! Yuk & Phew! She put me in the bath and washed me, told me I would smell nice afterwards. Well she was lying, I smell of lavender now (Yuk & Phew!). My only consolation in it all is that I got out twice and that bathroom is now going to take more than a little to clean it again. She thinks she has bought my loyalty again with two Bonios. I of course took them from her, but if anyone wants me I shall be round at the manor in their boot room!

The Dummy Stick Throwing Routine

Small Boy was brought up to go and see his Dad (The Owner) at the hospital, which had it's advantages. I managed to offload the last of my little indiscretions prior to The Owner returning!

We were both taken to the hospital and I hopped out of the car quickly before Strange Woman could get the lead on me. Some people are so easy it is almost embarrassing really. So I took Small Boy with me round to the window into The Owners ward, I take this route because I don't want to slip and slide too much on the floors and I have a certain sense of responsibility here and I knew that this would also limit the possibilities for Small Boy to have an "Ooops" moment. The Owner saw me and jumped up quick to let me in and then saw Small Boy. Now I am not sure what goes on here coz his eyes started leaking again, the same as they did when I first turned up and pretty much when everyone turns up really. The Owner managed to stop his eyes leaking and Silent Grumpy Man uttered his only language again "Oijackcumere" and laughed a lot then we all went out for a walk around the gardens. The Owner, Me, Small Boy, Owners Daughter, Strange Woman, Strange Woman in Wheelchair and today for the first time Strange Woman with Zimmer Frame. She has always given me a particularly wide berth since my first visit when I managed to divest her of several surgical devices after sliding on the slippery floors. Small Boy decided to help and make a frame to carry these surgical devices for her out of some bandages, sticking plaster and a bedpan but not to worry, we found a carrier bag to put all the leftover bits in. The process roughly goes that they all pretend to throw a stick and drop it behind them and laugh loudly as I pretend to look for said stick in large heap of leaves that Gardener Hoomun has raked up again from last time. They have fun, I play in the leaves.....,. It works! OK! I did have to share my heap of leaves with Small Boy this time, but I managed.

The Big Green Electric Box

Well you could have knocked me down with an empty Bonio box!! I had been out on a post lunch patrol and as always I ventured past the pond just in case there was water back in it. I had to stop and do a double take of the situation. Where the manhole cover is that Tanker Driver Hoomun has, I believed, been emptying the pond from, were two vans and a lot of wires and switches and stuff. Electrician Hoomun and Electrician Yoof were busy putting a new big green box full of electric in beside the manhole. Clearly the problem had been that the old box had run out of electric! Silly me had been blaming everyone when no-one had thought of checking to see whether there was any electric left in the old box. They seemed alright to me anyway as they box gave me a bit of biscuit for my troubles. I will keep an eye on the situation and report back.

Silent Grumpy Man

This week has been a bit hectic with my new found purpose in life. Owners Daughter has been here and has taken me up to the hospital to see The Owner every day and The Owner seems to be a little less grumpy now.

Silent Grumpy Man who sits in the corner is now not so silent and laughs loudly at me trying to cross the slippery floors. Silent Grumpy Man is not to be confused with The Owner who is also Grumpy but grumbles a lot and so cannot be considered silent, indeed neither can Silent Grumpy Man now. And you wonder why I get confused sometimes?

I have found if I jump out of the car quick before Owners Daughter can get a lead on me I can run round the back of the ward and stand at the big glass doors that lead into the room where The Owner sits. Someone will let me in and that way I only have a few yards of slippery floors on which to cause mayhem. The Owner then takes me for a walk around the gardens along with Silent Grumpy Man who doesn't say lots just laughs loudly at everything but that is an improvement apparently. Towards the end of the week Strange Lady in Wheelchair has also been joining us in her wheelchair. You may remember I was introduced to her on my first visit when I knocked her out of it when I slid on the floors. Old Lady Zimmer Frame still keeps well away from me. Strange Lady in Wheelchair likes to pretend to throw sticks for me. Oh how we laugh at my antics as I search in vain for a stick which we all know is on the floor behind her. The first time I don't think she really knew where it went as she seemed genuinely surprised when The Owner bent down and picked it up from behind her. But realising she was on to something here she kept doing it. The Owner smiled and picked her stick up for her, Silent Grumpy Man just laughed loudly at it and I had great fun jumping around in a heap of leaves that Gardner Hoomun seemed particularly vexed about, having just swept them all up. Owners Daughter just stood there with her hands on her hips frowning a lot at the daily growing ensemble.

Silent Grumpy Man

This week has been a bit hectic with my new found purpose in life. Owners Daughter has been here and has taken me up to the hospital to see The Owner every day and The Owner seems to be a little less grumpy now.

Silent Grumpy Man who sits in the corner is now not so silent and laughs loudly at me trying to cross the slippery floors. Silent Grumpy Man is not to be confused with The Owner who is also Grumpy but grumbles a lot and so cannot be considered silent, indeed neither can Silent Grumpy Man now. And you wonder why I get confused sometimes?

I have found if I jump out of the car quick before Owners Daughter can get a lead on me I can run round the back of the ward and stand at the big glass doors that lead into the room where The Owner sits. Someone will let me in and that way I only have a few yards of slippery floors on which to cause mayhem. The Owner then takes me for a walk around the gardens along with Silent Grumpy Man who doesn't say lots just laughs loudly at everything but that is an improvement apparently. Towards the end of the week Strange Lady in Wheelchair has also been joining us in her wheelchair. You may remember I was introduced to her on my first visit when I knocked her out of it when I slid on the floors. Old Lady Zimmer Frame still keeps well away from me. Strange Lady in Wheelchair likes to pretend to throw sticks for me. Oh how we laugh at my antics as I search in vain for a stick which we all know is on the floor behind her. The first time I don't think she really knew where it went as she seemed genuinely surprised when The Owner bent down and picked it up from behind her. But realising she was on to something here she kept doing it. The Owner smiled and picked her stick up for her, Silent Grumpy Man just laughed loudly at it and I had great fun jumping around in a heap of leaves that Gardner Hoomun seemed particularly vexed about, having just swept them all up. Owners Daughter just stood there with her hands on her hips frowning a lot at the daily growing ensemble.