Thoughts on a Slugs Humour

Now I know very little of the behaviour of Slug or his family but I am beginning to suspect there may be a sense of humour there somewhere. Yesterday you may recall that The Owner shared a beautiful moment with Slug, as two species met, eye to eye. The Owner responded a little harshly and threw Slug (and the mug he had slithered up to warm his belly) outside in the cold. This morning when The Owner and I arrived at the studio he threw the door open wide and strode confidently inside expecting a slug free environment. He made his new mug of tea and went and sat down at his desk as usual to examine the contents of his inbox and probably swear a lot if usual behaviour is anything to go by. I was right, he did swear a lot, but not at the contents of e-mails on his screen. There, at a pretty precise angle of forty five degrees across his mouse mat, was a silver slug trail. He is now on a mission to find the culprit and the normal clutter on the desk has all been moved, examined, and then put back in place and all to no avail as yet. I have been kicked off my comfy cushion, twice, and it has been lifted shook out and put back again. I do appreciate the humour of leaving a slimy slug trail across the mouse mat but I am getting a little tired of being moved and then re-moved as The Owner searches for Slug again. I think I may wander home and see if the wood burner is any warmer.... and free of slugs!

The Gastropod Mollusc Emerges!!

The Owner has had a less than perfect start to his day and so I am expecting mine to get worse! In recent weeks he has informed me that there has been a slug in the studio overnight. I was a little disbelieving at first as I had witnessed him going up the stairs to bed each night, I had heard him snoring away all night long and I had seen him come grumbling down the stairs again the following morning. So how could he have known? It turns out that the strange silvery marks on the carpet are not actually down to me at all, but are the "evidence" of the slugs nocturnal perambulations around the studio carpet. You would think with that much "evidence" (The Owner has been watching far too many crime dramas recently) as to where the slug had been it would be a straightforward process finding where it was. Even I couldn't find it! So each morning the carpet was further covered by the remains of a slimy trail and The Owner became more depressed that we couldn't find it. This morning he found it!! You'd have thought he would have been pleased, but oh no! There has been much huffing and puffing and yucking and I think it may be the calf sheds for me today for my own safety. We got to the studio as normal this morning and, as normal, he makes a mug of tea (I never get one unless Owners Daughter or Small Boy are here) and settles down to read his emails and other hoomun stuff. Placing his big mug on the desk beside him he absent mindedly took a sip periodically. It was during one of thise sips that I witnessed one of those beautiful moments when two species really connect. Gastropod Mollusc and Hoomun, eye to eye! It seems that Slug, as we are now on first name terms, joined by a common bond of being on the rough end of The Owners morning temper, had apparently felt that he liked the sensation of the warmth of the mug through his belly and slithered up the side of The Owner's tea mug. Slugs eyes, by his very nature, are on stalks and so were The Owner's when he realised what he was looking at and was about to take a sip from. There has been a lot of yucking over the last half an hour and the tea mug has been thrown out and so has Slug. I'll be in the calf sheds if anyone wants me.

Visiting the Stone Thing

Yesterday was a bit of a strange day really. We set off, as if on patrol, about mid morning as far as I can tell but we stayed on the roads up past the farm which left me a bit confused as normally any patrol that stays on the roads and goes past the farm is heading for the pub and as far as I can tell it was far too early for that. Even in The Owner's surreal world! Then we jumped over the hedge and across the fields. I hadn't been across here before so I had to have a few wee's up hedges and stuff, just in case The Owner got lost coming back. He was carrying something with a lot of red on with him as we went, something I also hadn't seen before. We eventually re-emerged back on to the road up near where Vic R seems to come from and went up some steps and found a big stone thing which The Owner wouldn't let me wee up. He gave me a very hard stare and I reasoned that it was probably not worth the trouble I would be in if I tried. Sometimes you get those feelings when it gets into your mind to do something, have you ever noticed? The Owner sat there for a while swinging the red round thing by his side, seemingly lost in thought until Vic R appeared and a lot of other people also carrying red things. They all stood around the stone thing whilst Vic R spoke a lot and sung a bit and then he must have said something wrong coz there was a bit of an uneasy silence for a couple of minutes and one or two seemed a bit upset by the whole thing. I have noticed this kind of behaviour when one of the two ladies from the village has passed wind and everyone tries to pretend they haven't noticed. (Except the times when someone decides it would be better to blame me for the smell wafting around.) Even The Owner stopped his grumbling for a couple of minutes. Then everyone went up and put their red things on the steps of the stone thing and then talked a lot. Now I reckon they are all going to be in trouble later as when they all left none of them thought to pick up their red things and left them on the stone thingy. Now I've seen the terrible state Church Warden gets himself in when the kids leave stuff in the churchyard that shouldn't be there and it really is not a sight for the faint hearted so when he comes and finds this little lot I feel sure he is going to have an opinion on the matter and it won't be a very positive one!

A Slug's Humour

Now I know very little of the behaviour of Slug or his family but I am beginning to suspect there may be a sense of humour there somewhere. Yesterday you may recall that The Owner shared a beautiful moment with Slug, as two species met, eye to eye. The Owner responded a little harshly and threw Slug (and the mug he had slithered up to warm his belly) outside in the cold. This morning when The Owner and I arrived at the studio he threw the door open wide and strode confidently inside expecting a slug free environment. He made his new mug of tea and went and sat down at his desk as usual to examine the contents of his inbox and probably swear a lot if usual behaviour is anything to go by. I was right, he did swear a lot, but not at the contents of e-mails on his screen. There, at a pretty precise angle of forty five degrees across his mouse mat, was a silver slug trail. He is now on a mission to find the culprit and the normal clutter on the desk has all been moved, examined, and then put back in place and all to no avail as yet. I have been kicked off my comfy cushion, twice, and it has been lifted shook out and put back again. I do appreciate the humour of leaving a slimy slug trail across the mouse mat but I am getting a little tired of being moved and then re-moved as The Owner searches for Slug again. I think I may wander home and see if the wood burner is any warmer.... and free of slugs!

The Owner and Slug

The Owner has had a less than perfect start to his day and so I am expecting mine to get worse! In recent weeks he has informed me that there has been a slug in the studio overnight. I was a little disbelieving at first as I had witnessed him going up the stairs to bed each night, I had heard him snoring away all night long and I had seen him come grumbling down the stairs again the following morning. So how could he have known? It turns out that the strange silvery marks on the carpet are not actually down to me at all, but are the "evidence" of the slugs nocturnal perambulations around the studio carpet. You would think with that much "evidence" (The Owner has been watching far too many crime dramas recently) as to where the slug had been it would be a straightforward process finding where it was. Even I couldn't find it! So each morning the carpet was further covered by the remains of a slimy trail and The Owner became more depressed that we couldn't find it. This morning he found it!! You'd have thought he would have been pleased, but oh no! There has been much huffing and puffing and yucking and I think it may be the calf sheds for me today for my own safety. We got to the studio as normal this morning and, as normal, he makes a mug of tea (I never get one unless Owners Daughter or Small Boy are here) and settles down to read his emails and other hoomun stuff. Placing his big mug on the desk beside him he absent mindedly took a sip periodically. It was during one of thise sips that I witnessed one of those beautiful moments when two species really connect. Gastropod Mollusc and Hoomun, eye to eye! It seems that Slug, as we are now on first name terms, joined by a common bond of being on the rough end of The Owners morning temper, had apparently felt that he liked the sensation of the warmth of the mug through his belly and slithered up the side of The Owner's tea mug. Slugs eyes, by his very nature, are on stalks and so were The Owner's when he realised what he was looking at and was about to take a sip from. There has been a lot of yucking over the last half an hour and the tea mug has been thrown out and so has Slug. I'll be in the calf sheds if anyone wants me.

Vic R Must Have Said Something

Yesterday was a bit of a strange day really. We set off, as if on patrol, about mid morning as far as I can tell but we stayed on the roads up past the farm which left me a bit confused as normally any patrol that stays on the roads and goes past the farm is heading for the pub and as far as I can tell it was far too early for that. Even in The Owner's surreal world! Then we jumped over the hedge and across the fields. I hadn't been across here before so I had to have a few wee's up hedges and stuff, just in case The Owner got lost coming back. He was carrying something with a lot of red on with him as we went, something I also hadn't seen before. We eventually re-emerged back on to the road up near where Vic R seems to come from and went up some steps and found a big stone thing which The Owner wouldn't let me wee up. He gave me a very hard stare and I reasoned that it was probably not worth the trouble I would be in if I tried. Sometimes you get those feelings when it gets into your mind to do something, have you ever noticed? The Owner sat there for a while swinging the red round thing by his side, seemingly lost in thought until Vic R appeared and a lot of other people also carrying red things. They all stood around the stone thing whilst Vic R spoke a lot and sung a bit and then he must have said something wrong coz there was a bit of an uneasy silence for a couple of minutes and one or two seemed a bit upset by the whole thing. I have noticed this kind of behaviour when one of the two ladies from the village has passed wind and everyone tries to pretend they haven't noticed. (Except the times when someone decides it would be better to blame me for the smell wafting around.) Even The Owner stopped his grumbling for a couple of minutes. Then everyone went up and put their red things on the steps of the stone thing and then talked a lot. Now I reckon they are all going to be in trouble later as when they all left none of them thought to pick up their red things and left them on the stone thingy. Now I've seen the terrible state Church Warden gets himself in when the kids leave stuff in the churchyard that shouldn't be there and it really is not a sight for the faint hearted so when he comes and finds this little lot I feel sure he is going to have an opinion on the matter and it won't be a very positive one!

The Dyson Is At It Again

Yesterday it seemed obvious from the start that someone was coming to see us. The Dyson was dragged out of hibernation from under the stairs. That put The Owner in a bad mood, I thought, straight away, and so early in the day! Well, when he put all that stuff in that cupboard I remember quite distinctly forming the opinion it may be a little unsafe to push it all in and shut the door quick, but The Owner had clearly forgotten exactly what was behind the door as he opened the door with a flourish and promptly disappeared under a deluge of odds and sods that came tumbling out. I beat a hasty retreat to my comfy cushion in case I was blamed in some way for the fall-out which was quite fortunate as it happened because I found a crumb from a discarded Bonio underneath it. The Owner started pushing my nemesis around the carpets and it confirmed some of my suspicions about its intent. On the carpet and presumably out of The Owner's gaze, was a handkerchief which the Dyson devoured with great gusto and promptly blocked the pipe. There then followed much grumbling as he removed the blockage and cleared up some of the dust and my hair for the second time in as many minutes. Minutes later it turned its attentions to some length of speaker wire which wound itself around the brushes and prompted the use of words that I pretend not to understand. Now this all did not bode well for a peaceful day, however I may have been wrong as Owners Daughter turned up and had a box of Bonio's in her car boot and perhaps a little bizarrely, two bananas! I never did discover the significance of the bananas but I am very aware of the significance of a box of Bonios. Of course the significance of a visit from Owners Daughter is that everything is turned off and not left on stand by and The Owner has been grumbling more than a little at having to get up and turn everything on again after he has settled down with the squidger which never seems as efficient at turning things on when the appliance it relates to is turned off by Owners Daughter.