I Was Escorted Round The Garden!

I have been out in the garden where it was raining hard and the stream is flowing well. I had the intention of getting down and having a good roll, the shoulder looked to me as though it needed a little accessorising. But I suspect The Owner had done his mind reading thing again as he followed me all round the garden. I mean, a little privacy here please! It's raining, didn't he have somewhere to go? I gave up in the end and returned to the fire. But he needn't think I've given up on the idea, I just have a little longer to plot my move.

My Spoiled Evening

The very fast and very noisy cars that race back to where they started from has been recorded and he is searching for his corkscrew , I suspect the peaceful evening I had planned is about to be interrupted. The fire is lit and the laptop is ready. I was about to write my daily memoirs. Don't think that is going to happen now. 

Wagging One's Tail

Oh what fun I've had! Yesterday morning I went out for a quick patrol of the perimeter after breakfast whilst The Owner took his morning tea and sat down to watch BBC Breakfast. When I returned, The Owner had his clipboard out which is always a cause for concern. He seemed to be paying far too much attention to my back end and then scribbling frantically on his clipboard. I had to check round the back end in case I had maybe had a good chomp on a bit of tinsel that I had forgotten about. The reappearance of tinsel can be problematic I have come to notice in the past. But all appeared to be in order. His interest in my rear end was unnerving to say the least! Then I heard an item on the news which explained his behaviour and his particularly unhealthy interest in my rear end. Some fool hoomun has announced to the world that we K9's talk to each other with our tails. News to me!!! So to play along with him, for every Markie I wagged to the left and for a piece of toast, the right. This was all going swimmingly, so when he went to pour his second cup of tea I shuffled about a bit and his clipboard slid under the sofa. When he returned there was much searching for it, which bizarrely even included the shed in the garden. So he got another piece of paper and rested it on last weeks Sunday paper and continued his "research". So I gave him some conflicting results. Much later he found his clipboard and then noted the anomalies. I think we have seen the last of his experiment and I have a full belly to show for it so that is alright then. I like the idea of being an experiment, I wonder what we can experiment on today?

Postman Maul 2

I think I may have...umm....overcooked it a bit! Yesterday I went out on patrol as The Owner was getting far too animated with something on his desk for my liking so I felt it best that I went out. Out of sight. Out of mind. But on my return I was in time to see Postman Maul driving out of the farm gate again. This morning I was not about to miss him so since we got there first thing this morning I went and sat round the corner of the studio and waited. It wasn't comfortable and it wasn't warm either but I was determined to try and get to sit on Postman Maul's shoulders. Well when he got here he pulled up outside the studio and started fumbling through the box of mail on his seat but his door was open so I seized my moment. Well at least none of the letters fell out of the van!!! True, they were all over the floor and under or behind the seat, but none came out. There may have been one or two with a muddy paw print on them as well but that was hardly my fault, it was muddy beside the studio where I had been waiting!

Postman Maul's Shoulders

Inspired by the video of the cat on his Postman's shoulder seen on Facebook this morning, I resolved to give it a go myself today. Postman, who I now shall refer to as Postman Maul, arrived and was intent on giving The Owner one of his free leaflets that The Owner always smiles and thanks him for and then throws them in the recycles bin. I was trying to find the best way to get up there. Should I try and climb up, or circle round the back and take a running jump and see if I can get there in one athletic leap. I suspect he suspected my ploy as he kept fending me off with the leaflet. Tomorrow I may lurk behind one of the cars and await his arrival and run at him and jump when he has his back to me and see how I get on that way. I will keep you informed over my progress.

A Windy Night in October

Last night you may have noticed it was a little windy and as a result there was a lot of very loud frowning this morning. Due to the slightly inclement evening, noticed (in certain hoomun quarters) only after I was sent out into the garden and returned very wet, The Owner seemed preoccupied with the tumble dryer. Having brought his washing in off the line for the third time that day a little wetter than it was when it went out he formed a strong relationship with his tumble dryer for the evening. The observant among you will have noticed, as have I, that tumble dryers produce quite a lot of dry washing in need of other stuff being done to it and it seems to get put in the washing basket. Basically it gets left there then until he has decided to wear it again, but this evening it was left on top of the taps at the butlers sink. Now I know what a sink is for, but I have no idea what a butler is, or why he needs a sink, or do K9's even need a butler!? During the night there was a big gust of wind, of which I was happily oblivious up to a point. The point where I became aware was when the window above the taps got blown open and the basket and its contents fell on my head. Unable to understand how to fold up washing and return it to the basket, I did the next best thing and dragged it up into a heap..... and laid on it. Well I didn't hear him come down the stairs this morning because of the weather outside so he found me still asleep on the heap of crumpled washing. He has spent the rest of today sighing every time he passes the mirror and passing comment about crumpled shirts. Well I was cold with that window open!!!!!

The End of British Summer Time

The Owner appears to be in a strop this morning. I am assuming it is to do with him forgetting to change the clocks last night and getting up before Old Reg The Paperboy had delivered his Sunday paper. He seemed to have had a strop in the night too so why he didn't change his clocks then I shall never know. Predictably at two this morning the usual fidgeting starts upstairs, until half an hour later when he gives in and comes grumbling down the stairs to have a wee. I thought I would take advantage of the opportunity and I bounced around by the back door until The Owner let me out. Well you know how it works, you rush out to the first bush and whilst weeing on that a sniff passes by on the ample breeze that was blowing at the time. So I went to explore that and then I thought I heard a twig break down in Dingly Dell. So I went to explore that. Then another sniff... and a bit more exploring and so on until, after half an hour I suddenly realised I was actually half way across the cricket pitch field and thought it better to return to the new cottage and find The Owner. I started off with a gentle canter but by the time I got back it was a full on charge bordering on a demented badger run. As I entered the cottage The Owner was not waiting for me at the door, so I continued on through the kitchen and into the living room where The Owner was sat on the settee doing an impersonation of the statue "The Thinker". Although I don't think there was much thinking going on as he appeared to be asleep! Well I soon put that right when I landed and rammed my nose under his armpit and looked up at him. Well I don't know what he was grumbling about. If he had put his clocks right in the first place, given that it was two in the morning, I would have been back half an hour before I had left!! Given that it was The Owners fault, you would have predicted that I was to be punished in some way for his mistake. But how? It is Sunday so The Owner had his bath this morning and as he climbed out he swept me up in his arms and dropped me in without ceremony. I didn't feel too bad about it as when I got out and did a quick demented badger run around the carpet in the living room, I noticed the door to the stairs was open...... so up I went. Then I noticed his bedroom door was open too! He is now throwing his bed sheets in the washing machine, which I can't understand as he only changed them yesterday. He is still grumbling at me and frowning very loudly too. Hoomuns, huh!