The Village Fete

The Owner arrived back from the supermarket in town clutching a little packet of something which he threw in the washing machine, along with his pink shirt and trousers and one or two other bits he'd turned pink as well. Then he opened the door again and checked through it all for anything that may have been a colour other than white then closed the door again.

He looked at it for a while, holding his chin, and then opened the door and checked for a third time, just in case. With the washing machine gently whirring in the corner the phone rang, it was Tesco, ringing to say they were sorry for their driver being late getting to him and she could be another half an hour. About half way through I saw a light bulb come on as he suddenly remembered the delivery, so he made much of how he had "been waiting in all morning for her to turn up" and "is this the way they treat their customers" etc.. Tesco Driver Lady Yoof turned up and was severely 'tutted' at for his inconvenience and immediately forgiven when she knocked his delivery charge off the bill. We went to the village fete this afternoon and he refused to take his blazer off because of a very pink shirt, even though it was too hot. The Hoomun Lady with the breath that could de-scale a kettle from a hundred yards was having a big argument over what was the correct filling for a Victoria sponge with the two old sisters from the Old Rectory, so that hadn't changed since last year, they were arguing about it then! Vic R. was there with his family and I still cannot work out what Vic's surname was. The Owner was joking with him about his dog collar but my one is not white like that. I went and sat behind the burger van hopeful of a morsel or two and was not disappointed and even more so when the two sisters and the lady with the breath that could de-scale a kettle etc. worked their argument up to such a pitch that they were throwing cakes at each other. I of course volunteered to clean up after them. Oh the tranquillity of village life!