Cows in the Herbaceous Border.

Oh, this morning had a certain warmth in the air from where I was stood. Nothing to do with the weather you understand. That warmth which comes from the certain knowledge that there is going to be a lot of doo doo flying around and most unusually, there is little if any coming my way.

I had been for the morning patrol quite early this morning, for no other reason than the cottage is beginning to get quite cold without anyone to drive the heating controls as I cannot reach that high; so I came back to the manor to await breakfast. Lady Manor Hoomun came down and threw back the curtains to look across the manicured lawns and flower beds, at least those that the badgers haven't dug up already. Her gaze settled immediately and perhaps predictably upon the arse of a cow which was on the patio depositing another half a ton of manure across the patio furniture. I say another because it had already done so over the sundial which I fear will not be telling any time at all until a serious amount of shovelling had taken place. The roses which were enjoying a last flourish of flowering activity (yuk and phew) were eaten to the stalk by the teeth and digestive tracts of about forty ruminants who had taken the opportunity presenting itself after the somewhat inadequate gate closing skills practised by the cowman earlier that morning. Two of them had taken the opportunity for a quick soak in Lilly's pond and were getting quite tangled up in the aquatic foliage. The cowman was summoned to remove his charges from the herbaceous borders watched over by Manor Hoomun and Lady Manor Hoomun who stood with a suitable frown and hands on hips whilst he did so. I, not wanting to miss out on the opportunity presenting itself from someone else's misfortune, found a suitably disapproving look of my own to add to Cowman's discomfort. I feel today is going to be a good day! Has anyone seen The Owner please?