The Owner is Attacked

The Owner is up to something this morning and I am not sure what! Now I am not saying that The Owner doesn't do his housework regularly at all. He puts that ruddy Dyson round once a month whether it needs it or not, but not normally on a weekday during the morning! He is plotting something I am sure. He unplugged it from the socket where I plug my laptop in and unusually, he remembered to plug the laptop back in for me before it goes blip and disappears.

Then he grabs all the wire and the ruddy Dyson and drags the whole lot up the stairs, again nothing unusual except that it is during the day and mid week, but what was particularly unusual was he normally winds the wire up first before he carries it anywhere. I remember thinking at the time "That could be dangerous!", but I am only a K9 after all, what do I know? Within less than a minute he was back down the stairs and I can't help but think that head first was not in his plan and then I noticed the cause of his ire and predicament. He was being chased down the stairs by that ruddy Dyson and its wire had already caught his foot! He looked unusually pathetic laid at the foot of the stairs being molested by that ruddy Dyson. Well what have I been saying all along? It has got a mind of its own and it is a particularly malevolent one at that! He looked at me with a sort of pleading look in his eye but I was going nowhere near it or him whilst he was tangled up in it! He has made himself one of his very strong coffees and is sitting on the sofa looking for someone to tell about his plight. I am hoping his distress doesn't lead to him looking for his brandy bottle, he hasn't realised yet that it was in the recycling box that went out yesterday and still half full. He is not going to be happy and I think, as it is a nice day, I may take myself off up to the sunny spot behind the barbecue just in case he finds some way that this was all my fault.