On Christmas Lights

We are approaching that time of year again when hoomun behaviour takes some very strange twists and turns which I generally find unfathomable, more so than normal. In the village, near the pub (and I'm sure that those two facts aren't necessarily connected), some folk turn their houses into a lighting system worthy of the landing lights at Lyneham. Including having some hoomun that spends over a month all lit up sat on the roof! The down side to all this light is that when on patrol one can't have a moments peace and quiet to do - you know - doggie stuff, without being on display to the world. The Owner gets to shut himself away in the bathroom for a quiet moment reading the Sunday paper whilst he performs. I would like a few moments to myself to contemplate nature without having my activities all illuminated, but with those lights it ain't gonna happen.

So The Owner has been going around singing carols (and if I were Carol I think I'd have an opinion on the matter) and sounding generally far too full of good humour. Christmas is usually not The Owner's favourite time of the year, in fact The Owner normally uses another word in front of Christmas, one which I pretend not to understand and then Owners Daughter frowns at him very loudly and calls him Ebenezer. But all this jolliness was quite unnerving for a K9 as it would have to break at some point and this morning was it. The bread was still in the freezer and was singularly uncooperative when he tried to cut some for his toast so he managed to find just enough to cut two thin slices from the old stale loaf and put in the toaster. I think the toaster is treading on very dangerous ground at the moment, as it has developed a habit of burning his toast and this morning it did it spectacularly well, together with his fingers, the wall cupboard and his Pyrex jug and he has spent the day with his fingers bandaged and doing his best to extract every last ounce of sympathy from anyone fool enough to listen to him. I think tomorrow we are off to B&Q to get some new wall cupboards for the kitchen. I don't mind that at all as there is a burger van hoomun in the car park who I have managed to get the odd sausage or two from in the past, using the superior willpower of a K9 on matters relating to food. However I suspect the build and installation of these wall units could be a somewhat hazardous affair and may involve more bandages on fingers. I will report on proceedings over the weekend.