The Bells

Such a weekend of embarrassment I have had. It all started on Friday with some fool telling The Owner that the whole country was being asked to ring a bell for three minutes just after breakfast. Having found an old bell in the bottom of a box somewhere, he dusted it off and chose to ignore the crack in it even though it sounded more like my food bring thrown into my metal food bowl, and began clanging furiously. The lady hoomun on the telly rather foolishly announced that many churches across the country are also ringing bells so he stuck his head out the boot room door and noticed no bells ringing at our church. Whilst composing a letter in his head to my mate Vic R about the lack of public spirit etc. he was out on the road waving his bell at driver hoomuns who he clearly felt they were in need of his advice and direction. Which was most of them. Then police hoomun turned up! How embarrassing? Someone had reported a madman waving a bell in a particularly threatening manner at hoomuns as they passed the cottage. I went up the garden and off on patrol and left him to it. Well, I have a reputation to uphold! And I have breeding I do. I am not the one who gets brought home in a police car, or now, gets taken away in one. Then yesterday was a day of fun for me, The Owner had been told to get himself home from the police station and had arrived and was busy composing another letter to someone called MP. He must be really hip and happning, whoever he is, if he is only known by his initials. So I kept myself very entertained with the cyclist hoomuns who were coming past the cottage in large numbers. I would have a quick snooze in the sun up by the barbie and then when I heard them coming down the road I would run very fast (on silent) and then burst through the gap in the hedge making lots of noise and see if I could get a wobble out of them. I was having great fun when I heard some more coming down the road. So I started my charge....lady hoomuns this time... such fun as they always wobble more and louder (have you never seen a loud wobble?) I was nearly at the hedge and ready to burst forth with lots of noise, I am such a master at my art, when I heard lady cyclist hoomun say to her mate, "My friend lives in there!". Brakes!!! Brakes!!!! That would have been sooooooooooooo embarrassing! It would have been a bit like The Owner saying hello to someone in town who he thinks he knows when it isn't them..... except that is funny.