Nasal Failure!

There are times when I really wish The Owner's armpits were infested with the fleas of a thousand camels! May I just explain that as a K9, having hoomuns blow on, or even worse, up our noses is the worst thing imaginable and will always be met by an unfavourable response. This morning, as autumn extends her chilly grip across this great land of ours (excluding the other side of Swindon obviously) in anticipation of the frosty mornings, The Owner was out in the garden tidying up and putting stuff away. His attentions were particularly caught and occupied by the hosepipe. The short section at the end was particularly shop-soiled after Small Boy's last visit and was removed. The Owner then removed any residual water left in the pipe by blowing down it. Well I wouldn't, it has been within weeing height all summer! Fast forward to this evening. The day, largely being at it's end, I was starting to snooze gently on my comfy cushion. In the course of my slumber I was suddenly and rudely awoken by the most violent and explosive urge to inexplicably sneeze. Once the convulsions had subsided I opened my eyes to seek the cause of this situation and could see nothing to explain what had just happened. The Owner was sat in his chair reading his Sunday paper and the fire was gently crackling in the grate. Assuming it to be "one of those things" I turned my attentions back to slumber, only to be hit by a further irresistible urge to sneeze to the point where I farted and a little bit of wee came out. Opening one eye I could still see nothing to cause this reaction and drifted back into slumber. After a chance opening of an eye I saw The Owner's paper shaking as if from laughter. Then I noticed the piece of hosepipe he had removed earlier in the day poking out from under the edge of his paper and advancing in the general direction of my nose to claim victory in it's third attempt at inducing nasal failure. I know there isn't such a thing as nasal failure, but there is now, I just made it up and it works for me, OK?????? He walks like a camel anyway, smells like one too.....