Collecting MY mail

The Owner still hasn't blamed me over Postman not delivering to us anymore. But when we went to collect our mail today he got into a right row with the sorting office staff. I had got more fan mail! Addressed, as you would expect, to Jack Labrador, they wouldn't give it to him coz he hadn't got any i.d. on him for one Jack Labrador.

Argue as much as he could that I was just a dog, actually he said a rude word when he said 'just a dog' but I pretended not to hear, they insisted that it must be given to the addressee. So he told them that Jack Labrador was out in the car if they insisted. So postman was sent out to give the package to me. It was the same one I had made the mistake with last weeekend! Postman wet himself again! Not sure they will be delivering to us any day soon!

The trip to see Peter Borough

I've been out with The Owner for the day today, in the car. Car's are my favourite! He was up really early this morning and put his smart clothes on. He normally leaves me behind when he wears that, says I get him covered with hair. Well covered with hair works for me! Then he said come on we are going to see Peter Borough, not sure who he is but we did drive a long way.

I don't think Peter Borough could have been in coz he stayed a while and talked to some people and then drove me all the way back again. I rekon Peter will be in trouble when he catches up with him!

The Birthday Drink

"So", he said opening a beer can. "It's your birthday! Tell you what, try some of this", pouring the contents of his can into a glass ashtray. I, forever gullible and never one to turn down anything I can eat or drink, indulged him.

For the next couple of hours my legs would do absolutely nothing that I asked of them in an orderly fashion and this morning I have an army of gun dogs with heavy boots thundering around inside my head! Does he wake up feeling like this every morning? No wonder he is always grumpy!

The Last Delivery

Postman came this morning, to the office. I was expecting the usual head in hands mantra thing from The Owner "How Much!?" etc. But Postman had one of those grinning faces on and I thought he must have brought me at least The Owner's Moonpig card. He handed The Owner a letter and he made him sign something and then they started talking.

The Owner started waving his hands about and talking even louder and Postman left without giving me a Bonio even though I was doing my little dance by the biscuit bucket. The Owner put me in the car and we had to go and collect his mail from the post office in town. It seems that after my little incident with the wrong Postman on Saturday, thePostman won't deliver his mail and we have to go and get it. I'm keeping a low profile at the moment. So far he is blaming the Post Office for having a "Bunch of wimps" as postmen. It may not stay that way!

The Hot Tea on the Lap Routine

I only forgot myself twice over the weekend, first time was at the pub. The Owner, having done the washing and the lawns decided a cup of tea and what he calls "a quiet hour" watching the funny looking cars going round the track on the telly. I mean, too noisy and where would you put a dog in them? He always finishes up shouting at the telly during his "quiet hour" anyway! Small boy got his coat out which usually means going for a walk with him. I don't do walkies with small boys, only The Owner! I forgot myself and jumped on The Owner's lap to escape. He was on the settee that I am not allowed on and he had a mug of hot tea in his hand. An easy mistake to make I felt! Tea everywhere and a lot more shouting but not at the telly this time! I took myself off to the boot room out of the way!

It's my Birthday!

Birthday? Is it mine? Do dogs do birthdays? Perhaps that explains why The Owner was wandering around annoying me the other day with that ruddy Moonpig theme tune! He does love me! I've never had a birthday before, I thought it was only hoomuns did them. I will be especially nice to Postman today!

The Visit to The Pub

The Owner must have forgotten about Postman coz he did take me to the pub! I like pubs they really are my favourite! I have to be on a lead in there, pub rules, and the owner had the lead round his wrist when he went to the bar and got a glass of wine for himself and an orange juice for the small boy. Some nice lady said hello to me as he picked up the glasses so I went to say hello to her. Next thing was, he starts to throw all the drinks from the glasses over the floor and blamed me! I think he must be suffering still from the same bad drink he had last time we went to the pub. I may have to stop him going I think, if he can't behave himself. Dinner's late this evening!