Yet More Wise Words from Jack Labrador

”That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” - Friedrich Nietzsche - Now here is a man who understands badger poo!!!!! More wise words from Jack Labrador.

Even More Wise Words from Jack Labrador

‎"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Aristotle ~ But with no mind at all everything is entertaining! More wise words from Jack Labrador.

More Wise Words from Jack Labrador

Obstinacy and vehemency in opinion are the surest proofs of stupidity. (Which reminds me, I haven't seen The Owner in a while.) ~ More wise words from Jack Labrador.

Lady Chocolate Lab Caught Out Again!

I am Sooooooo over Lady Chocolate Lab!

The Bells

Such a weekend of embarrassment I have had. It all started on Friday with some fool telling The Owner that the whole country was being asked to ring a bell for three minutes just after breakfast. Having found an old bell in the bottom of a box somewhere, he dusted it off and chose to ignore the crack in it even though it sounded more like my food bring thrown into my metal food bowl, and began clanging furiously. The lady hoomun on the telly rather foolishly announced that many churches across the country are also ringing bells so he stuck his head out the boot room door and noticed no bells ringing at our church. Whilst composing a letter in his head to my mate Vic R about the lack of public spirit etc. he was out on the road waving his bell at driver hoomuns who he clearly felt they were in need of his advice and direction. Which was most of them. Then police hoomun turned up! How embarrassing? Someone had reported a madman waving a bell in a particularly threatening manner at hoomuns as they passed the cottage. I went up the garden and off on patrol and left him to it. Well, I have a reputation to uphold! And I have breeding I do. I am not the one who gets brought home in a police car, or now, gets taken away in one. Then yesterday was a day of fun for me, The Owner had been told to get himself home from the police station and had arrived and was busy composing another letter to someone called MP. He must be really hip and happning, whoever he is, if he is only known by his initials. So I kept myself very entertained with the cyclist hoomuns who were coming past the cottage in large numbers. I would have a quick snooze in the sun up by the barbie and then when I heard them coming down the road I would run very fast (on silent) and then burst through the gap in the hedge making lots of noise and see if I could get a wobble out of them. I was having great fun when I heard some more coming down the road. So I started my charge....lady hoomuns this time... such fun as they always wobble more and louder (have you never seen a loud wobble?) I was nearly at the hedge and ready to burst forth with lots of noise, I am such a master at my art, when I heard lady cyclist hoomun say to her mate, "My friend lives in there!". Brakes!!! Brakes!!!! That would have been sooooooooooooo embarrassing! It would have been a bit like The Owner saying hello to someone in town who he thinks he knows when it isn't them..... except that is funny.

Cling Film Poo!

I had a very strange experience this morning which unsettled me to be honest! To put things into some kind of perspective I need to take you back a day or two. One afternoon The Owner had called in Plumber Hoomun as there was a vast escape of water in the cottage for which I was in no way responsible. It was in the bathroom which, because of it's definition, i.e. bath, I have nothing to do with. So, Plumber Hoomun arrived brandishing two new taps for something in the bathroom. He had much discussion with The Owner about which tap should be installed but whilst that took place he had left his box of stuff by the gate... so I went to investigate. Nothing wrong with that I am thinking?!? What I found, in part, interested me greatly. His box contained lots of "Tools", none of which I had ever seen before. But what interested me particularly was his packet of sandwiches, perched on the top, wrapped in cling film. Nevertheless I decided I ought to pass comment on the quality of them and the filling. To be honest I did get a little carried away in my sampling and forgot myself a little and..... well...... ate them all. I thought I may have got away with it as Plumber Hoomun spent ages looking for them and inside his van but attention was diverted when my hoomun friend Acushla Hoomun arrived bearing Bonios. In fact, in the excitement I had forgotten my input into the reason Plumber Hoomun spent half an hour searching his van for his dinner. So, today, breakfast consumed, it was time to go and have a quiet moment on the side lawn. Quiet moment had, and bowel evacuated, one always has to have a quick sniff and a check to make sure all is in order. You just have to do things like this! So I did. Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!! Who wrapped them all neatly in cling film???!!! It wasn't The Owner, he was inside! It took me a while to figure out the connection. I need a lie down!

The Helmet

Oh dear! I'm in trouble - at least I will be when everyone has worked out what happened. It was an uneventful day at the studio, periods of snoozing broken only by intervals of slumber throughout most of the day. Disturbed only by a brief period of delicious activity as I terrorised the new postman, such a pushover in the face of K9 superiority! Being summer(ish) The Owner keeps the studio door open and I snoozed in the doorway all day in the sun, until nearly at the end of the afternoon when I opened one eye and noticed Dairy Yoof's friend turn up on his bike, get off it and then push it into the little garage beside the studio. At exactly that moment I heard The Owner put his glasses down and pick up his phone and keys and that means only one thing - home and then - dinner!!! I rushed out the door eager to wee on the gate post before i leave my territory unguarded for the evening. I stopped in mid wee when I noticed something with lots of colour and kind of round sitting in the middle of the yard. I reasoned that if I was going home I needed to get this new addition to the yard wee'd on quickly, just until the morning when I would have more time to do the job properly. I was halfway through my wee when I heard Dairy Yoof's mate call out to someone, not sure who, "Can you pick my helmet up off the yard?". Ah! So that's what it was! I thought it may be time for a little subterfuge so I quickly ran round the outside of the studio and reappeared from the other direction. Clever eh? Couldn't have been me could it? I think Dairy Yoof's mate was a little suspicious, if the look on his face as he put his helmet back on his head was anything to go by. I got the distinct vibe that my efforts were less than appreciated from the stern look he gave me as I dutifully walked to heel beside The Owner as we headed for home. I feel that maybe tomorrow would be a good time to make myself scarce and spend a little while in the calf sheds out of the way.