There have been Police Hoomuns all up and down the village today asking all kinds of questions about The Owner and I have to say I am not particularly impressed with the kind of questions some of them were asking and even less so with some of the answers that were being given! I have made notes, expect reprisals!
They came and called at the manor this afternoon and asked Manor Hoomun several inappropriate questions whilst stood right beside me. "Has he exhibited any strange behaviour before?" His whole life has been one long episode of strange behaviour but that's not for them to say and I was about to give them a swift nip for their cheek when Manor Hoomun waved a cautionary finger at me. He is already becoming far too knowledgeable of my ways, I may have to throw the odd spanner in the works to unsettle him from time to time. When Police Hoomun suggested that maybe The Owner might not have been of sound mind it was just too much and I just had to do something. Nipping him on the butt was already forbidden by Manor Hoomun so I watered his rather large boots; no one had forbidden me from weeing on him had they? I had to empty most of my bladder before it soaked through but I felt a point had been made.
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