Well yesterday we had the brightest of Wiltshire Constabulary combing the village and asking all kinds of incisive questions. Most of them were ridiculous and some were very insulting towards The Owner and I had to have an opinion on the matter.
One Police Hoomun had to go and requisition a new pair of boots from their stores after I wee'd up them after I was forbidden from giving him a quick nip for a particularly disparaging comment about The Owner. Later they called in Police Dog (Hello! Nearly three weeks after The Owner disappeared?) who rushed about full of self importance barking a lot, until he slipped his collar and then we had a good game of chase around the cricket pitch much to Dog Handler Hoomun's distress. At one point he was so red in the face as he was bellowing at Police Dog I thought he was going to explode. It was a good game but I suspect he may be sent to his boot room when he gets home. Today they have issued the result of their extensive enquiries, "The Owner is missing". Well that has cleared up any doubt then. We can all rest a lot easier on our Cozy Cushions now then can't we. I think I may need to extend the range of my patrols a little in search of clues as to his whereabouts. Has anyone seen The Owner?
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