People Fallling Over

Well I must apologise for not reporting on this yesterday but The Owner was hogging the computer all day writing about it all in his memoirs. I mean, who would want to read about a middle aged, slightly rotund bloke with a crusty old barbour jacket and a dog? So, on Sunday it appeared to be a day of falling over. Not through the usual liberal consumption of drink but, well, let me explain.

Sunday morning was spent with a conspicuous lack of the promised activity i.e. hoovering, mowing, changing of beds etc. until just after lunch when he jumps out of the chair and grabs my lead. Now the only place I wear my lead is in the pub (pub rules) so I got really excited and ran round and around until I nearly knocked him over. Which did illicit a sort of growl from The Owner, so off we went to the pub. About half way up there I had been put on my lead because he reckoned I was sniffing too many posts and stuff. Then The Owner suddenly threw himself to the ground! I thought he must have wanted to play so I jumped on him and tried to stick my nose into many places that normally cause him to laugh but on this occasion he just grumbled as it turned out he had tripped over on a pothole. Since then he has been making plans to sue the council, the police, central government and Robert Mugabe. I'm not sure what he thinks Robert Mugabe had to do with it as I don't think he lives around here. After a few drinks, and eager to find a reason to get another drink after time has been called, he started to talk to Bar Maid. Eventually Bar Maid got fed up with talking to him as well and said she must be going and stood up to go. With that she threw herself to the floor as well. I couldn't see any potholes in the pub floor! The Owner jumps up and throws himself to the floor "To help her in her hour of need!" Well I thought they were all playing a game which looked kinda fun so I threw myself on top of the pair of them but it wasn't appreciated. Land Lord took me to one side whilst The Owner made her comfortable and held her hand a lot. Ambulance Man turned up and complained loudly about dogs hairs on his uniform so Kitchen Yoof was told to take me outside. I didn't think it was worth being banished! When a big ambulance turned up with flashing blue lights they also complained about dog hairs so I contented myself with weeing up their tyres. I've never been in an ambulance before but judging by the fuss they all made I don't think I am going to be invited to any time soon.