Chrisssmuss Morning in Swindon

Well yesterday answered several questions in my quest to understand the hoomun condition but posed several other conundrums for which I have absolutely no explanation!

Yesterday, The Owner came down the stairs as usual, except it was without the customary grumbling, he was singing! Singing about a Silent Night, which with his nocturnal grumblings and snoring is something unheard of in these parts. When I was let out of the boot room it came as something of a shock as he was wearing a piece of tinsel! Little else as it happened, as he fumbled around in the tumble dryer for his robe which he had forgotten to take out last night. Well if that was a bad way to start the day it got better, saying far too many "Yo ho ho's" to be plausible he presented me with the remains of my kangaroo chews that were posted to me from Oztraylia and also a packet of chews from my anonymous admirer known only as BH7 (Could be Blood Hound although I don't think they are numbered). I was immediately in trouble as The Owner left both packets unguarded whilst he made himself tea. Well they were mine!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been particularly careful not to twitch in my sleep ever since so as not to give The Owner any ammunition about Skippy again! We were collected soon by Volvo Hoomun and taken to his house, which appeared to be near Swindon! I like visiting houses, even in Swindon, so I wee'd up the door post to let others know I am about and went in, where I met Lady Volvo Owner, Volvo Daughter and Mother. They fed The Owner and made him wear a paper hat which made him look quite silly but he didn't seem to mind. I have made a note that there wasn't even a sausage for me, reprisals may follow! I was then allowed upstairs!!! They didn't have beds for me to lie on with duvets and stuff upstairs but they had armchairs! Even I know that armchairs go downstairs! As I believe I may have mentioned before, anything seems to go when you are in Swindon! Compton Bassett seems a very safe place to be I think, you know where you stand when you are in Compton Bassett.