Frozen Ponds and other Cold Stuff!

Well, morning patrol is over and I am gainfully employed finding a comfy square of carpet to lay upon near the fire (when The Owner can be bothered to light it), together with imaginative ways of avoiding the ruddy Dyson. Which, incidentally, is still throwing all the dust it sucks up out through the vents and depositing it on the furniture, but The Owner clearly feels it makes a difference. I can still hear The Owner's laughter ringing in my ears at the look of confusion and befuddlement upon my face when I got to the pond a little earlier. I was feeling a bit frisky this morning as we strode purposefully out of the cottage and down the icy path where The Owner couldn't be bothered to clear the snow and just packed it down as he walked on it. I had a quick wee up my tree for good measure and launched forth from the gate and came face to face with Postman who was clearly as surprised to see me as I was him, judging by the way we both slithered a little and then fell in a big heap on the frozen puddle. He recovered himself and gave me a particularly hard stare which I felt was a little uncalled for and thrust some brown envelopes in The Owner's hand, which I suspect will mean more of his head in hands "How Much? mantra later. The Owner, with his collar up and hands stuffed firmly in his pockets, shuffled off down the road whilst I ran like a demented badger surveying my territory. There is an interloper at the moment called Jack Collie Dog who occasionally wee's on some of my posts but I am faster than him and I can wee higher, so no damage there then. We soon came to the pond, and the cause of my ire this morning. As I said, I was feeling a bit frisky, so I thought I would launch forth into the water and make a big splash. Well I didn't know it was going to be frozen!!!!!!! I was sailing through the air, paws out-stretched, waiting for the splash when I made contact with ice and left a series of score marks from my claws in the ice as I pirouetted across the surface and came to a halt under the tree. Where, after a strange cracking sound the ice gave way and deposited me very unceremoniously into the water. The Owner laughed loudly at my predicament and pointed a lot as I clambered out of the ice and up the bank by the tree. I'm afraid all friskiness had departed my spirit at this point and I skulked home and left The Owner to finish the patrol alone. I think he walks like a camel anyway, and if he'd stop laughing long enough for me to get close I feel sure he would smell like one as well!