My trip to Lundun

Yesterday morning The Owner was up early and polished his shoes (always a bad sign) and then dragged his suit out of the wardrobe. Not off a hanger, you understand, but from the bottom where he had thrown it after a disagreeable meeting a month ago. This of course liberated one or two of my little misdemeanour's. Well he had left me on my own a couple of times and I wanted somewhere different to lay and the wardrobe door was open! So this was the first accusing stare I had received that day, there will be more. And it was only a few of my hairs!!! So, suit de-haired and put on, I was expecting the usual cursory Bonio to be thrown my way and then abandoned to my own amusement for the day. Instead he picked up my posh lead and told me to get in the car!!! We went to SWINDON!!!! I was a little nervous until we got to the station and I relaxed a little, I knew that we get trains from stations and they go to Bath, I have been there before. I had also learned not to wee on the old lady's zimmer frame legs, they are apparently not for my benefit. However I was taken a little by surprise when the train came from the other direction, but a very grumpy chap who clearly had no understanding of my breeding told The Owner "Be careful with that dog and mind the gap with it." With IT!!! So I wee'd on his trouser leg and felt much better for it. The Owner said we were going to Lundun! When we got to Lundun there were so many people! We don't even see that many people at the village hall! We walked across the big station, I have never done my best walking to heal quite so good as that before. Not to demonstrate my considerable prowess at walking to heel, just that I wanted to keep The Owner close by me. Then we came across this huge badger hole and all these people went down it! What kind of a place was that???? As we got close to it I noticed that the stairs were all falling down the big hole, well I frankly wasn't surprised with that many people standing on it. Then The Owner went to jump on, well, I wasn't about to get on that!!! It moves!!! Oh the embarrassment! The Owner picked me up and carried me down it. Those badgers must have been very well organised as they have trains and everything down there. I must have a look again at the badger sett on the hill when next I go for a quick roll. When we got off the train, and came back out of the badgers sett we arrived in this park which The Owner said was a Kings park. I did look but didn't see a King. What is a King anyway? Should I have one? Anyway it was about that time of day so I found a secluded spot behind a tree and tried to ignore the big offices full of people. Then The Owner.... what was he doing?????? he pulls a carrier bag out of his jacket pocket and PICKS IT UP!!!!!! I told you the world was very strange the other side of Swindon didn't I? And it has even affected The Owner. I pretended not to notice out of politeness but I have to report I am in no hurry to repeat that particular journey. You know where you stand with cows. As far away as possible usually, but at least you know.