Organic Matter in The Boot

This morning I am in the poo….. deep poo!

When I read that back it may have been a good choice of phrase, really. You may recall recently how I recently managed to hide The Owner’s corkscrew in his boot for him to find, thereby averting the eye of suspicion from myself? Well this morning I was out on patrol before daylight and happened upon something which was vaguely organic and extremely interesting at the top of the garden. But as it was still too dark to be sure of the exact origin or composition of this organic matter I decided to take it indoors where the light is better for a closer look. In the mornings, The Owner can sometimes be described, (at best) as unpredictable and I thought he had poured his tea and was settling down in front of the TV to shout at the presenters and guests on BBC Breakfast. It somehow makes him feel better and more able to cope with the rest of the day I have noticed. This morning was different and when I returned to the cottage and in through the boot room door he was coming back into the kitchen with a dirty mug from last night and was about to pour his tea. He must have had a small preliminary rant at the TV and that had delayed him. Either way I really couldn't afford to upset the start of his day by getting caught with something in my mouth which The Owner would not approve of, so I dropped it quick behind his boots. Well, when I say behind them I really meant on them. Or more accurately kind of like…. well…. in them with just a tail hanging over the side really. I know; I know what you’re thinking but it was all I could think of on the spur of the moment. After tea, toast and his bath, it was time for him to face the world, as he likes to put it (he gets that from Owners Daughter). This was where the day went rapidly downhill for all concerned! The Owner grabbed his boots and paid no attention to what was watching him over the top of his boots and plunged his foot into the depths of his boot. Unusually he even got it on the right foot first time! There was that second or two that seemed to go in slow motion as I could watch the message go from his foot to the brain, “Hello Brain, Foot here; yes, something seems to be kind of squidging up between the toes!” During those seconds I frantically searched for anywhere that would act as a bolthole and could only find a dining chair which offered little in the way of protection from the wrath which then came my way. He has also worked out by association that I may have been behind the whole corkscrew incident too. It has been a particularly silent walk to the studio this morning and I have a feeling this is going to be a very long day.

And I never got the opportunity to identify what I left in his boot either!