Test Driving

Today has been a good day so far! We have been out test driving, me and The Owner, which I was a bit surprised about at first as I thought he had passed his driving test. At least he keeps telling everyone he is a class one driver so I just assume he is good from that... apparently. 

We arrived at the big garage at just the right moment as all the mechanic hoomuns were having tea and sandwiches and there were rich pickings to be had. Particularly when The Owner wasn't watching! Then Slimey Sales Hoomun arrived and kept calling The Owner Sir! This of course appeals to The Owners inflated sense of self importance and kept referring to Slimey Sales Hoomun as Serf, and then laugh loudly. However I had to agree with The Owner that Slimey Sales Hoomun was somewhat less than likable when he said to The Owner, with a sideways flick of the thumb, "What are you going to do with the dog?"!!!!!!! I am a K9, and one with breeding to boot! The Owner for once stood up for me and replied "Oh, you mean Jack? He WILL be coming with us!" In the tones that indicated that The Owner was not in the mood to be trifled with and Slimey Sales Hoomun noticed that too, so in the back seat I jumped, very athletically I thought too! When I say back seat, I may be exaggerating things a bit there. It was little more than a small ledge covered with carpet and not the sort of thing that one with breeding should be seen sitting on, so I climbed through to the front again. Slimey Sales Hoomun seemed less than enthused about where I was going so I sat on his lap with my front paws on his knee. At this he was even less enthused and kept complaining loudly that he couldn't see a thing. Well excuse me, who is the customer round here? He knows the road so why does he need to see it again? I have never been driven down this dual carriageway so it is important I see what posts there may have been to wee up (and there were quite a few, I have to report) and besides, I was closer to the windscreen this way. This means...... I get to lick the windscreen...... a lot! Their windscreen cleaner tasted quite nice actually, so I licked the windscreen a lot more too. Slimey Sales Hoomun complained loudly when my paws slipped off his knees and ran my claws down the inside of his legs, but I was having none of the blame in this little scenario! If The Owner hadn't gone round the roundabout quite so quickly and then braked when I was least expecting it I wouldn't have slipped off! But I soon regained my composure you will be pleased to hear and got back on Slimey Sales Hoomun's lap. As we were leaving the garage I noticed Slimey Sales Hoomun emerging from a shed in the car park with a Dyson and a bucket with mops and lots of cleaning stuff and I think he was making far too much of that little scratch down his leg too. He was limping a lot and had a bandage wound round and around his leg looking very much like and Egyptian mummy. As we left he said "Please come back and see me if you need to drive it again to make your mind up". But I detected a small amount of sarcasm in his voice which I felt was very unbecoming and a little unnecessary to be honest. It was, after all, just a little scratch on his leg, the windscreen could still be looked out of after I had licked it (a lot) and I had managed to keep most of my hairs on Slimey Sales Hoomun's lap!