The Missing Tarpaulin

It was a dark and windy night.... can we have a little reverb on my voice here? I'll say that again. IT WAS A DARK AND WINDY NIGHT, that's better, and this morning The Owner is looking a little confused. Since we moved to the new cottage his big cooker has been languishing outside as he hasn't been able to get the gas pipes through the wall and into the kitchen. I have missed it to be honest as it was quite warm to snuggle up to when it was in use. Anyway, The Owner, Small Boy and Driver Yoof (who both came to see The Owner at the weekend) carried the monster around to the kitchen door and put it down outside for The Owner to clean it in readiness for the great day when it is installed. Between them, it was like the blind leading the blind to be honest, they managed to cover this great behemoth with The Owners special pink tarpaulin. I worry about him sometimes to be honest. I also had the customary cautionary finger wagging session as I was given the list of things I was not allowed to do to it... like weeing up the side of it, or running off with the tarpaulin etc. Well I do have standards! I wouldn't be seen dead running around with a pink tarpaulin! So this morning we went to leave the cottage, coat on... check pockets... go back for phone...go to door....check pockets.....go back...pick up keys...go to door....check pockets....go back for milk bottle.... open door and leave. It can be more lengthy than this some mornings so we were doing well. Outside the door stood the cooker, resplendent in its cleaned dark maroon front freshly cleaned and The Owner smiled at it appreciatively as he walked past it. Then paused... where was the pink tarpaulin? He is, as we speak calling the police to report a theft of a pink tarpaulin. Only he left out the pink bit obviously. I am unsure how or even if I should let him know that it has been taken only by the wind and is no further away than half way up the big poplar trees at the far side of Dingly Dell. When Police Hoomun turns up to investigate this dastardly crime, and I only quote The Owner's description of the incident to the police here, I will watch with interest as Police Hoomun finds it and The Owner tries to explain it. Could be an interesting day I think. :)