The Orange Apron

Oh my Lord, it is Easter isn't it? I don't need a calender or a diary to know this either! K9's don't do them anyway, but I still wouldn't need one to know. How have I realised? The Owner has been to B&Q, that's how! He was sat here fidgeting over the weekend, clearly bored, whilst watching the telly. Nothing untoward so far. Then his fidgeting slowed and then stopped when the adverts came on. His fidgeting restarted, but this time it was with excitement as a plan had formed in his mind. Do you see how dangerous this was all becoming? So yesterday he was up and out early and B&Q was high in his mind. I tried to get out of the car to go for a wander across the car park in search of the Burger Hoomun and some sustenance, but my way was blocked and I was shut in the car. He came back across the car park a short while later, hidden amongst a convoy of trolleys loaded with various DIY devices and materials, and many many plants. He was also wearing one of their orange aprons which he had removed from some ageing gentle hoomun under pretext unknown and somehow managed to walk out with it. I suspect Ageing Gentle Hoomun will be still looking for where he left his apron for some time to come, a bit like The Owner and his keys. Hopefully he won't be inspired to take the spoils of his visit to the pub to show everyone as there is a really nice Lady Collie K9 that has been in there recently and I really don't want him cavorting around the pub in an orange apron if she walks in with her hoomun. He has already been down by the road wearing his newest favourite item of clothing hoping someone sees him and asks why he has got it. He will then start regaling them with his version of the story as to how he acquired it, which will obviously change every time he tells it. Overnight I have managed to chew the orange ties off the apron, so that should have put an end to that problem but we still have the rest of it to deal with. Liberal quantities of wee should deal with all the work surfaces he has propped up against the shed door, hopefully we will have rain before the weekend and that should be enough to persuade him to find something else, less problematic, to occupy his mind. Otherwise I may be spending the weekend in the calf sheds.