The Very Important Business Meeting

Last night we had to go out for an "important business meeting". To the pub since you ask! Now I have never been on an important business meeting before, I usually get left in the car outside, so I didn't quite know what to expect. It seemed to consist of some bloke coming in and saying to The Owner "Right mate?", to which The Owner replied "Right John?" They then bought each other a drink and sat and talked a lot of nonsense for an hour and then two more drinks - each - and then more nonsense talked. By the end "Right John?" had changed to "You're alright John!" only said in a rather slurred fashion which I am unable to convey properly in the written word. Then, oh the embarrassment! With him lolling over the bench unable to sit up straight and telling everyone in the pub he loves them, in walks Lady Chocolate Lab and Lady Chocolate Lab Owner! I couldn't hide or disassociate myself from him as I am attached by a lead. Oh the embarrassment! He gets up to buy Lady Chocolate Lab Owner a drink, puts his hand in his pocket to get some money out and drops all his change on the floor. Tells everyone in the pub "It's alright!", like they cared anyway, bends down to pick it up, lurches forward where he lost his balance and knocks the bar stool over which knocks the next one, which knocks the next one etc. At which point my mate Vic R enters the pub, presumably to save a few souls from eternal damnation to see a bar stool flying through the air towards him. Vic R had to have a lie down before being escorted back to his car and The Owner was escorted from the pub and told to go home. Oh the embarrassment! They were also trying to blame me for mud on the floor, I would draw your attention first to my paws in exhibit one (attached) and then to the state of The Owner's shoes. The denfence rests m'Lud! I haven't seen The Owner yet this morning and I am not anticipating I will for quite a while!