Recycling Lorry Driver's Journey Home

Last night was a very strange hoomun type of experience for me when The Owner and I went to the pub. Unusually it didn't involve The Owner falling in a ditch or the pond (still got lots of water in that). We had to escort Recycling Lorry Driver home from the pub!

We were sat there minding our own business, wearing my brand new lead (pub rules) that the Owner made by tying several odd scraps of baler twine together just before we came out, as I tried to use my powers of suggestion to get people to throw me the odd scrap of food from their plates. Not one! Not a sausage or even a little bit of fat from a juicy steak! Mainly coz The Owner kept telling them all that I preferred my dried food when we get home! Has he been sniffing something again?!?! Let me think..... dried food.... juicy steak......Hummmmmm No, definitely the steak! I was beginning to wish all of their armpits were infested with the fleas of a thousand camels when Recycling Lorry Driver announced to the world, or at least that bit of it which was prepared to listen to him, that he was going to walk home with us. The Owner made some lame excuse that he was going to take me for a quick walk over the fields on the way back but Recycling Lorry Driver was having none of it and he wanted to walk back with us. The Owner always says that, I have no idea why because we always walk straight home to light the fire and put the telly on but it makes him sound energetic I guess. Anyway we got outside the pub and The Owner was talking to Recycling Lorry Driver and he just said Ooooooh! Aaaaaargh! and when we turned to see what he was Oooooooooohing about, he was gone! Nowhere to be seen! Vanished! And not even a ditch in sight! His bag was still on the ground where he had been standing but he was gone and I was beginning to suspect the same space aliens that emptied the pond, but The Owner noticed a foot with a boot attached sticking out of the hedge and after much tugging we got the rest of him back through the hedge. The Owner had to hold him up all the way back to his place! I had a great responsibility in all this as well, I had to carry Recycling Lorry Drivers bag home. I don't think I was too keen on this kind of hoomun behavior and I shall find something disgusting to do when next asked to carry a bag, just to make sure. It was far too heavy for a dog with breeding such as myself. We had to stop at every fencepost or gatepost all the way home. Not for me to wee up them you understand, but for Recycling Lorry Driver to be ill over. I think I'll avoid those posts when next on patrol that way for a while. You can't be too sure can you? I did notice this morning that his van hadn't moved, perhaps he fell through the hedge into the field from his garden path. I'll check later.... or maybe tomorrow, in case he has been ill again!