My Cushion Returns

You will, I am sure, feel as relieved as I was that I eventually get my comfy cushion back from being ruined. Now you will be asking asking yourself as to exactly how or why it has taken him so long to return it to me after this ruinous process. He first stole it from me and then woke the washing machine up far too early in the month for what it has become accustomed to. It promptly had a hissy fit and pumped water all over the kitchen floor which he blamed me for as it was my hair that had blocked the filters. After his efforts at baling out the kitchen from soap and slightly hairy water and aided by two glasses of red wine he forgot about my cushion. I, however, was constantly reminded by the hardness of the floor! He was reminded when the smell of damp washing, left too long in the washing machine, came wafting through from the kitchen, so it had to be washed over again. This time he remembered to get it out of the machine but instead of just putting it in the tumble dryer so I could have it back again, he opted to dangle it over the fence to dry. It rained that night! Being made of foam it had absorbed most of the rain from the surrounding fields by morning and so had to go back in the machine again. Again placed on the fence to dry it attracted the unwelcome attentions of Pigeon, who landed on it and gave it the full benefit of his abilities in the "pooing on The Owner's car " department. Back in the washing machine again after an accusing stare was directed towards me (like I had anything to do with that!). This time it was put straight into the tumble dryer as I had thought it ought to have been right at the start. I don't like to mention that I was right all along, but I think I was! So this morning, after much ado about nothing, I was presented with my clean Comfy Cushion. Clean, that is, if you regard the smell of "spring blossom" as being clean. I am currently looking for a suitable something to roll in and then roll on the cushion to restore the equilibrium a little.