Nettle Rash

Yesterday afternoon I was a little less than comfortable and this morning I have a little rash (in the gentleman's department seeing as you ask!). It was raining buckets yesterday morning here and I had the distinct feeling that The Owner was not going to be going out that door for the morning patrol very early.

Did I say distinct feeling? Should have read 'distinct wish'. You know where you are with rivers and ponds but when it is coming from the sky, water is an altogether unpleasant experience in my books. So, rain clouds empty, a lazy patrol was in order. We took off down towards the studio (See, he has even got me calling it that now) and I stopped at the end of the manor garden wall to spray a little of my own water. The paddock just beyond the gardens wall is usually empty these days so imagine my surprise when these brown calves, all ten of them, stuck there heads through the railings with a low bovine rumble right beside where I was weeing! Well I jumped (and who wouldn't) which is a dangerous thing to do in mid flow. Unfortunately in doing so I managed to dangle my gentleman's bits in the nettle patch! A most unpleasant experience and I admit I let out a little yelp, but despite my best efforts to wash it off, the stinging got worse. Even jumping in the pond brought little relief. I thought The Owner may have been suffering from the same problem at first as he was sat on the floor holding his belly with tears running down his cheek. But no! He was laughing at my misfortune to the point where he couldn't stand up! I am thinking his armpits need to be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels here! This morning the stinging has stopped and left me with more of a tingle and a rash which still has elicited little in the way of sympathy from The Owner. Weeing up posts etc. has been a delicate and careful affair this morning.