Burnt Toast and Fire Alarms

I'm in the boot room. He is not. He is just being a drama queen! I can hear him in there on the phone, the list he has researched on the internet so far extends to NHS Direct, St John Ambulance, the local doctor and the Samaritans.

He came grumbling down the stairs early again this morning and made himself some tea and put the toast on. Whilst I went off on my first patrol of the morning he went and sat down and started rummaging through the heap of papers from yesterday clearly looking for something particular. When I returned there were flames licking the underside of the grill and the dining room floor was covered in scattered newspaper. The Owner was sat on the sofa in the dining room asleep. I thought, "Any moment now the smoke alarm will have it's morning exercise and make it's normal row, as it does every morning when he does his toast", but until then I may as well get up on the sofa and snuggle up for a few moments. Now when Owner's Sister came up, her spaniel thing with too many opinions got up on the back of the sofa and laid along the back and I have seen other dogs do the same in pictures, so I thought I'd give it a go myself. Just as I got up there and was trying to work out how to lay down on it, the smoke alarm went off. It made me jump a little even though I was expecting it and my claws couldn't hold me fast and they slid down the side of the sofa. Well it's only a little scratch down his back!!!! No blood to speak of!!!!!! I think it may have been made worse by when he stood up, his head disappeared into the layer of toast smoke and he got a little disorientated. I was sent to the boot room which I think is the safest place. I can hear him in there now speaking to Air Sea Rescue. It's going to be a long day!