The Bovine Dinosaurs

This evening I am cold and wet, with the imprint of The Owner's yard broom still tingling on my shoulder. For those of you with not enough original thoughts in their minds, no I have not been rolling in anything badger! The Owner had had a difficult day, I could tell by the ferocity with which he threw his mouse pen back in it's holster and his glasses across the desk. I knew we were in for an extended patrol as we always do when he throws his mouse pen like that and I was right, off we went across the fields and as we went he began to feel better. You can tell, because his grumbling got a little less verbose as we walked. The fingers of dark cloud extended lazily across the sky as the last vestiges of daylight disappeared and the world around us became cloaked in an eerie white glow. A host of celestial bodies cast their combined light across the cold slumbering world around us as we headed for the warmth of home and the promise of a long awaited belly filled with food. Well that's how it should have been except it's damn cold in here as after only the first flush of frost, the oil has run out, because he forgot to order any oil throughout the summer again. As we crossed the cricket field, with the twinkle of light from the porch lantern a welcome and almost intoxicating sight in the darkness. I ran ahead in excitement at the prospect of my tea and through the gate into the paddock, next stop, the front door! I n my excitement I had forgotten about the two barren cows in the paddock and they were lying in wait for me, either side of the gate, in the gathering darkness. Well, to say I pooped myself in terror as these two bovine dinosaurs emerged from the darkness either side of me with a loud "Moo!" would be a masterful stroke of understatement! In my panic I fell and rolled through fresh cow poo and I have to report it hasn't the same satisfaction as a good old dollop of badger poop! I am now cold, wet and in the boot room and The Owner is wandering around the cottage with three jumpers on and every once in a while he stops, looks at me, goes "Moo!" then laughs to himself as he carries on his wandering. I think he looks like a camel, he walks like one as well.