Home Alone

On Saturday I was left home alone! The very sound of it brings a shudder to my bones. I knew something was up as The Owner had been in the bath for far too long to be normal for a Saturday and some of the smelly things that he was spraying about up there were too hideous to mention. It wasn't long before Bracknell Lady Hoomun arrived, as if by way of explanation. Now, I like Bracknell Lady Hoomun as she usually brings me a tasty chomp or two as a bribe of some kind, so I did my best excited bounce and my very best excited run round the tree by the path that I wee on, but not a chomp nor treat did she give me! I was beginning to revise my opinion about her quickly! Even more so when The Owner threw a Bonio on my comfy cushion and when I went and got it they both were out the door in less time than it takes to open a Bonio box!!! I took advantage of my enforced solitude and had a quick snooze on the settee that I am not normally allowed on, then his armchair, then Small Boys bed..... in fact I tried every thing that I am not normally allowed on. The only place I was unable to have a snooze on was The Owners bed as he had shut the bedroom door before he went. Although I was frankly not disappointed, as ever since I had a snooze on his bed last week, whilst I dried off after being shut out in the rain, there has been a strange smell of damp emanating from his room which I am frankly none too keen on. It was dark when they returned. My initial bouncing was a little difficult at first when the door opened, not because I had the grumps with him for leaving me, but because there was considerable pressure in my bladder which needed to be relieved first. Made all the worse by The Owner having left a tap dribbling in the bathroom! Bracknell Lady Hoomun was immediately forgiven for not bringing me a tasty chomp earlier in the day by arriving with a pocket full of Markies. The Owner however arrived with a kebab in his hand and so Sunday morning will be filled with either hideous breath that would de-scale the kettle at a thousand yards, which even I would not want to sniff, or an endless run upstairs to the lavatory holding his belly..... or both! Not sure why he does it really, far better to stick to something which is thoroughly wholesome.... like badger poo!