My Little Moment

I have had a bit of a moment these last few days, but I know you'll be pleased to know I am now feeling much better. It all started last weekend when The Owner started rushing around tidying and dusting. A bit like he does when Cleaner Lady Hoomun is due to come in, except she doesn't normally come in on a weekend. The Owner informed me that Owners Daughter was on her way up to see us. He says she is a special one. He says that about Diesel Dog Daughter and Small Boy too. He has been known to say it about me from time to time but judging by the slightly disparaging tones he uses I think the context may be different though. Owner's Daughter arrived much earlier than normal for her, before lunch, and dragged in with her a washing basket full of stuff. Now I have recent experience of hoomun washing piles, the last one I came across sprouted a small pair of arms and legs and had a lot to say on most things so I kept a very wary eye on this one too! Owners Daughter frowned a lot at everything whilst The Owner was making tea and then dived into this washing basket. I thought this would be the point when my peace was about to be shattered, and it was, but for a very different reason. Owners Daughter produced bottles of polish and cleaning cloths and all manner of cleaning stuff which I was fearful may have brought The Owner out in a rash. Not as an allergy, just that it was going to involve cleaning. Owners Daughter then frowned a lot more and gave The Owner a bottle of something unpleasant and some cloths and sent him out into the boot room with the ruddy Dyson. Not as a punishment, but with instructions to clean the fridge and not come in again until he had done it! It was all said in the manner that even The Owner wasn't going to argue! I became a little uneasy at this point coz I felt certain that I had things behind the fridge that I would rather he didn't find and I watched nervously from a distance for quite a while. I was quite sure his pair of gardening gloves, missing since the summer, were squirrelled away under there and I was going to be in dead trouble when he found them. Surprisingly, he didn't find them, so I am at a loss as to where they went! He re-emerged with that triumphant look on his face that normally means trouble and I couldn't help but notice that even though his cleaning cloths looked remarkably clean still, his new white T shirt wasn't. Owners Daughter, meanwhile had been very busy, it would seem, and had found boxes of rubbish, newspapers, unopened letters and a variety of other detritus one could generally associate with The Owner and it was all stacked in little heaps everywhere. This is what upset me and I spent the rest of the day sat between The Owners legs. If he moved, so did I. If he walked around, so did I. You don't want to be taking chances when things are being moved around at the cottage, just in case I might be next. By the time Owners Daughter left that night everything had been put away again and the cottage looked much cleaner but I was still a little uncertain about all this stuff going on around me so I risked being told off for making him spill his wine and stayed walking between his legs wherever he went. I did try and climb on his lap once or twice but he didn't seem to welcome it. This week I have stayed either by his side or between his legs, just in case. I even thought it best to forgo my patrols. Today I was feeling a little better and have been on my first solo patrol this week! The hose pipe is in a heap outside the office, as is the yard broom, there is one less dollop of badger poo up on the hill, I am steaming gently by the electric fire and The Owner isn't talking to me. Equilibrium restored.... result!