The Brown Delivery Van

Today we had Delivery Hoomun arrive, only not in the customary white van that seems to be the cue for much angst from The Owner. This was a brown one! Not the hoomun, just his van. He jumped out with lots of bon homme, and a small cardboard box. "You must be Jack!", he said cheerily. Well, you could have struck me down with an empty Bonio box! How the hell did he know??? Then he presented me with this cardboard box which The Owner pinched out of my mouth as soon as Delivery Hoomun had gone. It had apparently come all the way from America which I think is the other direction from Swindon, so it must be the other side of Chippenham. Now I am aware that there are strange things at Chippenham, like office doors that open without anyone touching them as you approach, so the other side of Chippenham must be really terrifying! The Owner gave me the cardboard box and kept the book inside it for himself. Just as long as he doesn't try that with the Bonio box we shall probably be all right! "Hang on!", I thought, "That book has got me on the cover!!!!!!" I should have kept quiet, The Owner just gave me the bill and said I had to pay it if it was mine. But it is !!!!!! It is the draft copy of my book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the way from the other side of Chippenham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I need a lie down on my comfy cushion now!