The Owner Gets Wet!

Saturday we went out! Not the out which appears to be otherwise known as the village hall, but a proper "out", a long way away. On this out we both got wet, me and The Owner, I did it deliberately when I discovered a new village pond. A very large village pond. And The Owner seemed displeased for the rest of the day so I guess he didn't mean to get so wet. We got up very early, which is always a bad sign, and went to the station. Station Manager Hoomun wasn't even up it was so early! Which was probably for the best as I had made up my mind that any comments referring to me as "That Dog" were going to be met with a swift and decisive response on my part. Once, you can forgive them for not noticing my obvious breeding, I have had to endure it twice now, but a third I felt would be one step beyond what I was prepared to put up with. I think I must have dozed off at one point on the train as it went very dark and my ears went funny and hurt a little. The Owner told me it was ok as "That was the severn". Well I must have missed the other six! Eventually we got to a place which I think was called Swansea and me and The Owner walked a little. I think it must have been near Lundun as after a few hundred yards I felt "the urge" and The Owner produced a plastic bag and picked it up!!! I have noticed this strange hoomun behaviour in Lundun when we went before. What do they do with it?? Save it for later?? After a few minutes walking, on a lead since you ask, we got to this mahoosive village pond with funny walkways that seem to float! And boats! Lots of them!!!! There was this foopball floating in the village pond with a piece of string tied to it so I leapt forth to retrieve it. Well hello......I'm a retriever......I retrieve things!!! To be honest I hadn't allowed for the fact that someone appeared to have tied a boat to the other end of the piece of string. Nor for the fact that there didn't appear to be any banks for me to climb out on. The Owner seemed displeased that he had to reach over the edge and grab my lead and drag me out. A very undignified process and I am glad no one was watching! A bit further down the walkway we came across a boat with an engine running and a very jolly hoomun called Boat Hoomun on board. He seemed to know The Owner, so I hopped nimbly aboard. Ok I was dribbling quite a lot of water as I did so, but it was still nimble! Boat Hoomun gave me a digestive biscuit as he and The Owner had a mug of tea and The Owner regaled him with boating stories which I think happened to someone else and I suspect so did Boat Hoomun but we both went along with it. Tea finished, an air of great excitement came upon the boat and The Owner was instructed to "Cast Off!". Now, casting off seemed a very important job and, I also realise, quite dangerous. The Owner jumped off the boat onto the walkway and undid the bits of string that appeared to be holding us on and threw them, with a flick, onto the boat. I was quite proud of him really, he looked quite expert. Then he gave the boat a quick push which was where it all went wrong for him. I think he should have let go of the boat really..... or jumped on. He made a very large splash and had a great deal to say on the matter! They got him back on board the boat, but his morning continued to worsen. His jacket was very waterproof as it happened and under the circumstances kept quite a lot of water in his big pocket. He soon found it! Now you remember I said that he picked up my poo and put it in a plastic bag? You're ahead of me here aren't you? He didn't seem so impressed to find it again amongst the water in his pocket! The one thing which I still haven't worked out, how was that my fault???? He seemed very quiet for the rest of the day and a little disgruntled when Taxi Hoomun made him sit on a plastic mat on our way back from the station that night.