Stinky Labs and the Aga

It was a pleasant evening to start with. Me and The Owner wandered home in the dark, which is always a good thing as The Owner's eyesight doesn't seem able to let him see when I nip through the hedge to have a quick lick at the grass where that reeeeeeeeaaaallllly nice little spaniel bitch has been weeing. Ohhh baaaaaaby!!!! After licking the grass a lot we got home and The Owner fed me, which was nice. Then after pouring himself a large glass of red wine he rummaged through the heap of papers that on Sunday were known collectively as The Sunday Times. He selected a section that he had hitherto been unable to read and settled into his armchair beside the fire which was just starting to display the benefits of the attentions of a couple of fire lighters and started reading and slurping. For my own part I curled up on the small square of carpet in front of the fire in such a fashion that, if I could be bothered, I only need open an eye and I could keep an eye on his behaviour. So I did! Periodically he folded down the top corner of the paper and peered over the top or round the side, looked at me, then chuckled to himself before he returned the paper to its earlier position, upright and carried on reading. Only to do it again and chuckle a bit more a few moments later. This was starting to unnerve me a little and irritate me a lot as I had no idea what he was finding so funny! Then The Owner, unable to conceal it any longer started to read sections of the article he was reading out aloud. The article was written by Lady Reporter Hoomun on the subject of the Aga and she was trying, (it would seem) to convey the comfort of having the warmth of such a beast in the kitchen. There is one in the kitchen at the manor so I am a great convert on the benefits of being able to lay in the warm beside it whilst The Owner was away, but I am a little tired of not understanding why he finds it so funny. Then we get to the crux of the matter. Lady Reporter Hoomun has no understanding of rural reality and mine in particular. I have breeding I do! She seemed to be under the impression, from what I understand of the matter, that kitchens with Agas are occupied mainly by wonky piping, wellie boots and "stinky labradors". I HAVE BREEDING I DO!!! So now, predictably, The Owner is wandering around the cottage chuckling to himself as he mutters about stinky labs and giving me an old fashioned look or two. I will be giving him the odd old fashioned look or two and I feel a protest chomp on his paper when Old Reg the Paperboy delivers it next Sunday. The Owner may expect some reprisals next week too! Stinky Labs!!!!! I have breeding I do !!!!!!