The Wheelie Bin Attacks!!

The Owner did not have the best start to the day a couple of days ago and please do forgive my apparent tardiness in reporting the matter. Truth be known I have kept away from the laptop for a bit since The Owner decided to use the ruddy Dyson to vacuum the keyboard for dust. It would appear that there was a vast quantity of my discarded hairs below the keyboard and the Dyson had only half done the job and the keyboard now had the appearance of an alphabet with alopecia with tufts of hair sticking out from behind every letter. Except “Q” obviously. He spent hours, and made a great deal of the whole matter, pulling hair out of the keys. So I thought it best to keep out of his way for a day or two and not draw too much attention to myself. 

Sorry, I digress, The Owner. We had a particularly wet and windy day here the other day and The Owner was more than a tad grumpy when we left the cottage about the leaking gutter above the door unloading several gallons of water down his neck as soon as he opened the door and stepped out. I had worked out already that it would be prudent to walk several yards behind him down to the road. I have to admit that out of the shelter of the cottage and the hedge i was not particularly enjoying the effects of the wind and rain upon my bottom. Things are not meant to sting certain parts of a K9 and it was stinging them quite a lot to be honest. We got to the gate just as a particularly strong gust of wind shook the hedge to its roots as The Owner stepped through. Like something out of one of those films he likes to watch with high body counts he was immediately and cruelly mown down.... by a green wheelie bin! He tried valiantly to wrestle himself away from its demonic clutches but it was not letting go for love nor money and took The Owner with it as it made a bid to dive into the stream. At the last minute he deftly flicked it and got on top of it as it splashed into the stream. Feeling a little pleased with his efforts (and I have to say I was also suitably impressed) he clambered back up on to the side of the stream nearest the road. He was still on all fours when the milk tanker drove through at great pace! When I say drove through, I really mean drove through the puddle that was now part of the pond, the road and the ditch the other side of the road too. The Owner enjoyed the briefest of moments when he felt a victory over fate by keeping out of the stream only to have it ripped away from him as he got covered in a tsunami of water from the milk tanker.

 This morning the weather is very wet and very windy again and he is taking no chances. Just before it was time to leave for the studio I found him rummaging around at the back of the cupboard under stairs only to emerge a short while after with a victorious expression on his face saying “This should do the trick” he said as he emerged from the back of the cupboard with his very expensive sailing gear. How do I know it was expensive? Well he has been telling everyone all day just how expensive it is. This’ll keep out the worst that tanker driver can throw t us.” I’m sorry, where does the “us” come from?? Where do I feature in his plan for dryness?? I will just have to get wet the same as the rest of the time I suspect. Although it has now stopped raining and we saw no traffic (or wheelie bins) and the sun has come out too. At the pub tonight, after a day of breezy sunshine, he is going to have to explain exactly why he is looking like an extra from “The Perfect Storm”. This I have to see!!