The Bean Bags Arrived

Well what a fun weekend we have had! And The Owner is still clearing it up and I suspect he will be for some time to come to be honest. And for once, you will be pleased to hear (well, I was anyway) that there is no way that even in the Owners slightly twisted version of reality, I can be held accountable for what happened.

On Saturday two large boxes arrived with Parcel Force Hoomun which seemed to inspire a great deal of unrest in The Owner. The kind of unrest which implies that there are things inside these boxes which require assembly and he hasn't got the necessary tools, or batteries, or help. After an age of fidgeting and general restlessness he opened the boxes and from inside one emerged a big leather bag. A really big leather bag! And from the other a really big plastic sack full of little white polystyrene bits. Together they made The Owners new super super king sized bean bag! There then followed a pathetic wander up and down through the village as The Owner went in search of help to put the polystyrene bubbles into the leather bag. It is amazing how many people in one village are just leaving to go shopping, or about to leave to go and see an ageing aunt or just wouldn't open the door. One was brave enough to offer help the following day, although I suspect it was more out of a certain knowledge that The Owner would never be able to wait that long and would probably have found a way before then. So we wandered back home again with The Owner muttering to himself. After a cup of coffee and a doughnut the frustration became too much and he had to have a go. Now I have looked on Youtube and there are little videos on how to do this and it all looks very simple and stress free when there are two of you. But The Owner won't look for these videos until after he is completely in a mess. First mistake! Do not kneel on the plastic bag with the polystyrene bubbles in. They burst! Second mistake. Do not try and scoop them out of the plastic bag and tip them into the leather bag with your hand. They don't all get into the leather bag as you would have hoped. After half an hour the living room looked like a snow scene in Harrods Christmas shop window and his new bean bag looks remarkably devoid of "beans". Whilst he was outside seeking inspiration from his tool shed I made the most of what was presented to me and did a small amount of demented badger running round and around the living room. But by the time he returned all the polystyrene bubbles had landed on the carpet again so he was none the wiser of my little burst of activity so all was well.

He is now on the phone to Bean Bag Supplier Hoomun trying to convince him that the bag of "beans" was not filled with as many as he had been led to believe from the pictures. However I suspect that Bean Bag Supplier Hoomun has heard that one a few times before and was having none of it. I get the feeling that the ruddy Dyson will get dragged from its lair and put to good use in rounding up the errant bubbles. It could be a long day yet!