The Owner Fell in the Drains

The Owner has not had the best of days, so I am keeping a particularly low profile. It started well enough, lovely sunny morning, sat at the Divine Cafe in the sunshine, drinking his coffee whilst I wandered around under the table looking for the odd morsel or two, and then we went shopping. Well he did, I had to stay in the car, but he bought me some #Bonios so I forgave him. Then as he struggled back up the garden path with his shopping bags, he stopped just before the back door, and with a sage look about him he announced that the drains were backing up. I have never seen a drain back up before, when the milk tanker backs up on its way to the dairy it beeps a lot and a voice says "Caution, this vehicle is reversing!" but as far as I can tell the drains weren't doing that. Just as well because there was about six inches of soapy water in the shallow gulley across the back of the cottage. This seemed to concern The Owner somewhat and he went and started lifting drain covers all over the garden, each one was deeper in soapy water and a whole load of stuff, which, quite frankly, even I wouldn't roll around in! The last one down near the road where the drain turns to head out under the road, was empty and nowhere near as smelly as the rest and this then occupied his interest for a while with lots of black rods that he screwed together to make a big long snake. He pushed the snake down into drain and started shoving it back towards the full manholes. Eventually it appeared to hit something solid and The Owner turned to me and said "That appears to be it!". I am not sure what 'It' was but it clearly shouldn't be there and The Owner started jumping up and down on the end of the snake. All of a sudden 'It' gave way and The Owner, who was giving it a particularly hard shove at the time, fell to the floor. Well, more like, in the drain actually! As he was trying to get his bearings and work out how to get his shoulders from being wedged in the open manhole a deep gurgling was emanating from deep within the drain in a particularly menacing manner.The water from the five manholes, and all the brown stuff which I wouldn't want to roll in, hit the wall inside the manhole with such speed that most of it couldn't immediately turn the corner and so just shot upwards. Yes, that was where The Owner was wedged! But it proved at least that he was making far too much of being wedged in, as he quickly found a way of getting himself out of the drains. But not before he managed to get covered in all the soapy water and brown stuff that even I would not roll in. He has been ringing the NHS emergency lines trying to bully someone into giving him an injection for something - anything - and is now in the bath for the second time, and I have to report that he smells no sweeter. I believe a low profile would be wise this evening as the first thing to put a foot out of line will cop all his ire from the afternoons activities and I am not particularly anxious for it to be me.