Wincie Arachnoids Big Mistake

You understand how it is sometimes, if you listen to enough babble, you eventually start to understand the nonsense that is being babbled. It is that way with The Owner and I. So it is also with spiders, we live in an old cottage, so old in fact that I even wonder whether The Owner remembers it being built! It is not excessive but we do have more than a few little tiny spiders creeping around the place and The Owner spends his evenings chasing them with the ruddy Dyson with a kind of menacing smile about his face. Either that or it could be wind I guess. Anyway, there is this one spider, I call him Wincie, and he lives in the cupboard under the stairs and all night long he babbles on as he makes elaborate webs by shooting things out of his bottom. I have tried that too but I didn't manage to make a web. In fact it all got rather messy to be honest! Over recent weeks Wincie Arachnoid has been very busy in the cupboard and has babbled a lot, so I have gained some understanding of the language of spider. Last night he was particularly busy building webs outside of the cupboard and I immediately sensed trouble. Building a web across any door way was not good, but to build one across a doorway through which The Owner was likely to emerge at some point was not a good plan in my view. So I ignored Wincie Arachnoid's ramblings and settled down to sleep. in the wee small hours I could here disturbings upstairs which really did make them the wee small hours and down the stairs grumbled The Owner. This meant I was about to be disturbed having moved in the night and was laying across the bathroom door. Having not switched any lights on as normal he made his way across the living room towards the kitchen door..... and walked right into a spiders web! There was a great deal of roaring and grumbling as The Owner got more and more tangled up in the web left by Wincie Arachnoid. Over the top of this noise I could also hear Wincie Arachnoid squealing with delight "Wheee! I've caught a hoomun!!! I've caught a hoomun!!! As he descended from his hiding place on another length of stuff coming out of his bottom I could hear him squealing "Its dinner tonight!".

The Owner spent much of breakfast time cleaning Wincie Archnoid off the wall with his Mr Muscle and a cloth and little now remains of the drama of last night.