The Elephants Saggy Bottom

Today has not been the best start to a day for somebody at the cottage! You may have noticed, if you live nearby, that the day started with wind and heavy rain and The Owner was up remarkably early. Both of which have proved dangerous in the past and so it was an ominous start to the day at the cottage. By seven o-clock this morning The Owner was on his second pot of tea and had found no-one on the BBC News to shout at and so was starting to fidget. Eventually the large heap of ash under the log grate in the fireplace became the object of his attentions and he pounced on it with great enthusiasm. I had a certain interest in the contents of the grate as well, I remember a bit of a chicken sandwich getting thrown on there the other day and I was curious to see if there was any left that might be suitable for a quick chomp. The Owner filled a large bucket with ash, no sign of the chicken sandwich, and stood up to take it out. Well, I will concede that I may have not been standing in the best place in the world to not get in his way, but throwing the ash all over the carpet was a little extreme! He frowned very loudly at me as he cleared up HIS mess, so I took myself off to the boot room. When he opened the front door to take the bucket of ash out I noticed there was still something glowing in the ash bucket. He opened the lid of the wheelie bin and threw the ash in and immediately disappeared in a fog of ash picked up by the gusty wind. You remember I said it was raining this morning? That was not just a space filler, he was already covered in a lot of rain drops and his hair was still damp from his shower. Ash has a kind of magnetism all of its own when it comes to rain and damp hair I have noticed, and this proved the theory. He looked quite a picture stood in the doorway with heaps of ash on his shoulders and his hair resembling one of the zombies on a Michael Jackson video! The second shower of the day restored his hair a little but not his temper and I suspect it may get a little worse later on. I feel sure you shouldn't put ash with glowing embers in a plastic wheelie bin and that may have something to do with why the side of the wheelie bin now resembles a saggy elephants bottom and is appearing to be smoking from under the edges a little! I think this story may not yet have finished!