A "Dyson Inch"

We have been working from home today! Which as far as I could tell involved putting up pictures and cleaning, but who am I to argue? I have Bonios!  After lunch a very jolly man from BT came and fixed The Owner's phone for him and I would just like to point out that I had absolutely no hand in breaking it (as far as I am aware). But by this time the damage had been done; The Owner had discovered a new way of mocking me and need I say more than it involves the ruddy Dyson! But not in the usual way of chasing me with it. I mentioned the dreaded "C" word,,,,,,,, cleaning. He was doing his bit flitting around the place with his duster and wearing that ridiculous pinnie with the bra and panties on the front and I am frankly relieved when he has finished his cleaning and takes it off again without having anyone come to the door. But inevitably his activity gets around to the ruddy Dyson, when he noticed something he hadn't noticed before and makes the most of it at my expense. There is now a new unit of measurement he has invented today, known as a "Dyson inch". After chasing round the carpets randomly he notices that the dust is at the bottom of the clear plastic thingy and my hair and other fluffy stuff, being lighter, is now well towards the top. He has reasoned that the dust is down to him and everything else is down to me. So he parades around holding the clear plastic bit of the Dyson like a glass of fine wine studying it and pronounces that there is just the one "Dyson inch" for him and one.... two......three....six "Dyson inches" for me! As if I am meant to feel guilty about it!!!!! Oh how I wish the vicar had called whilst he still had his pinnie on!!