Trouser Trumps and Botty Burps

After the days start not going so well with the whole jumping in the bath thing from The Owner, I was hopeful of better things to come. Well, water mopped up and buckets emptied his mood was beginning to thaw a little and a cup of tea was poured and he came and sat on the carpet next to my comfy cushion to drink it. I was in for a pleasant half hour again I thought as I drifted off into slumber. Well you know how when you drift off to sleep, there comes a stage where the muscles all relax and you are just about aware of what is going on around you but can't really be bothered? Well, I was vaguely aware of a slightly strange sensation in the nether regions but ignored it until The Owner jumped up and started yukking and phewing very loudly and appeared to be a different colour than when last I saw him in the light of day. It would appear that in my semi slumber state I had let out a bit of a botty burp.... whilst my botty was, kind of, well, snuggled up against his leg really. He flounced around the kitchen for ages after that spouting nonsense about fresh air being in short supply round here this morning. Although it is fine for him to dispense with the botty burps and move straight on to the full on trouser trumps, followed by "Oooooooooooooh scuuuuuuuse meeeeeee!" As if that makes it any better or any less toxic than my own were. This was lining up to be a very long day, even by my standards.