The Silage Clamp

The Owner's not speaking to me this morning but that is normal, neither is Posh Lady Client Hoomun which is a shame coz she normally gives me a Bonio. Had I mentioned that I am partial to the odd Bonio? Makes no difference really as I fear it may be a while before he forgets about this one. 

It is Sunday morning here and this is a good excuse to get out and about early in case he feels inspired to throw me in the bath when he has finished with it. He was also very busy around the cottage quite early, tidying and dusting, and that was another reason to go off on an early patrol because what follows tidying and dusting? Yes, the ruddy Dyson is dragged out of its lair. So I chased around the fields and found loads of things to sniff and loads of things to wee up or over. I was running a bit short in the wee department so made my way towards the farm to take on more water to finish the job before heading back to the cottage to see how The Owner was getting on. That was when I found it. Well really it found me to be honest. There was a thin crust of ice across a large puddle round the back of the silage clamp and I thought I would just run straight across. Even if the ice wouldn't hold me it wouldn't be deep enough to worry me. Well it didn't hold me and it was deep enough to worry me and it wasn't water! It was belly deep (that is a K9 unit of measurement) in silage liquor! Now this stuff is quite pungent to be fair but I am not averse to such things and decided to give it a try. Shoulder down.... going well...... and...... ROLL! Yay!!!! I must go and show The Owner this one! Off I went at a gallop back to the cottage. When I got there The Owner was slurping politely at his coffee with Posh Lady Client Hoomun and discussing "things" in an unusually polite manner for him. That did seem to change quite rapidly as he reverted to type and started using words I pretend not to understand and holding his nose a lot. Posh Lady Client Hoomun also started using some very similar words which surprised me a little as she always seemed very polite to me. She usually makes a big thing about giving me a Bonio but I got the distinct vibe I wasn't going to getting one today as I tried to get on to the settee in my excitement. The Owner dragged me off in a very undignified manner and put me in the shed to await my fate whilst he went back into the cottage to deal with Posh Lady Client Hoomun. He offered her a sponge and a bowl of warm water to "get rid of the worst of it" although I preferred to think of it as the best of it. How come she gets a sponge and warm water when all I get is a hose pipe and a yard broom?? 

Well, that was an hour ago now and I have just been hosed and yard broomed. The Owner has tried to clear up what he called "Your Mess!" Actually he used another of those, no, several of those words that I pretend not to understand when saying that. However I think the cottage smells rather nice now. The Owner, on the other hand, seems to still think otherwise. I am not sure why Posh Lady Client Hoomun left without giving me a Bonio but I get the feeling it will be a while before she gives me another.