The Upturned Tree and The Owner

Well this weekend I appear to have given everyone a great deal of mirth. Not that I intended to. But The Owner has been busy telling everyone of the problem. Owners daughter came to see me on Saturday, The Owner likes to think she has come to see him but I know that isn't true, she has really come to see me! So when she arrived she started to remove several bags full of rubbish off the seats, off the floor and about everywhere else in her car too. She even made a joke about rediscovering her inner car seat when she dug down through her stuff and got to the seat covers. She then laughed very loudly at her own joke which was scarily like The Owner, I suspect they may be related.As soon as there was room enough on the back seat for me I got in. Just in case anyone was going to be going anywhere. You can't be too careful in my experience or you run the risk of being left behind. The Owner tried to call me out but I wasn't falling for that old chestnut! Eventually they both came out and got in the car. Alright, it was an hour later but I felt my stance had been vindicated. We first went to Sainsbugs and when The Owner reappeared he seemed to be under some kind of verbal assault from Owners Daughter, probably for the plight of the indigenous population of the Amazon rainforest. That seems to be her favourite at the moment. Then we drove to a different woods to my normal patrols and we went for a walk. It was great fun, chasing through loads of dead leaves, running and running. Then I happened to see something strange beside the path. I had never seen anything quite like this. So I tried to get a scent of it... nothing.... so I went a bit closer and sniffed again. Still nothing so I growled a bit. No response. I was getting a little concerned at all this as these were my "pack" that I was to protect here. The Owner and Owners Daughter. So I had a little woof at it and took a step closer. It wasn't moving away from me. I have since discovered that it was an upturned root plate from a tree that came down in the winds, but how was I to know??? I have never seen one before!! I was intent on protecting my pack so I got yet closer and growled at it quite a lot. However I had taken my eye off The Owner for a moment, which is never a good thing to do, and he had gone round behind the root plate and was sneaking up on it from his side. Just as I was getting close enough to make a decision on whether to bite it or wee on it and walk away, The Owner launched himself over the top shouting a loud Aaaaarrrrrgh! with his hands and legs spread as wide as he could. Well I thought the damn thing was coming to get me and I panicked, a little bit of wee came out and I ran. The Owner can fend for himself I thought, as I ran as far and as fast as I could. Well that was the intention, except my legs weren't working as well as I would have liked. Then I could hear The Owners laughter ringing in my ears, added to by the stifled giggling of Owners Daughter. I felt proper foolish and it got worse when he took me to the pub. He kept telling everyone of my panic and they were all laughing loudly at my misfortune. There are times when I really hate hoomuns!! I will be taking to my comfy cushion for the rest of the day i think!