Karma

I am loving this karma thing! I often work hard to achieve  just a little retribution for some of The Owners unkinder acts or comments and yet karma seems to do it for me and I don't get the blame! Well....... not as much as I could have done anyway. Today I have discovered that The Owner has been having a bit of a laugh at my expense all these years and I was a tad miffed to be honest. It seems that calling me Jack Labrador GD(failed) is not a mark of merit, but rather, one of The Owner's twisted jokes at my expense which I have unwittingly encouraged. I have spent the late afternoon wishing his leg would fall off as I plotted my revenge. We left the studio and wandered home relatively grumble free for The Owner. Just a few grumbles about potholes in the road, inconsiderate drivers, noisy tractors on the fields and the cost of turkey at Sainsbugs. Actually now I see it written down it was just a normal grumbly journey. As dinner was imminent I shelved my plans for retribution until later. When we got back to the cottage The Owner fed me which was nice and I had really forgotten about getting my own back as he opened the back door to let me go for a quick patrol of the perimeter. By the time I return normally he is busying himself lighting the fire so I was undeterred when the door was pushed a little bit shut. Although to be honest it is normally wide open to welcome me back in, but tonight I thought nothing of it as I hurtled onwards towards the partly closed door. At the last moment I launched with my front paws outstretched and hit the back door open..... although it didn't give way in quite the manner I had anticipated.  In fact, it barely gave way at all to be honest and I felt a fairly large bump on the other side of the door as it clearly had met an unmovable object........The Owner! Well how was I to know he had decided to wash the floors behind the door this evening. I mean, he isn't due to do that for another six months!! I returned to the garden for a while and by the time he picked himself up and looked out I was nowhere to be seen so he has blamed the wind for his misfortune which is fine by me. When I felt it safe to return he was on the phone to NHS Direct trying to get treatment for a "skull compression injury" that he hasn't got! I suspect he must be on a list of malingerers or something as she was having none of it from what I could make out, although he has threatened to take this up with "The highest possible authority". If I was his MP I would keep a low profile tomorrow. He tried Buckingham Palace the last time and was politely but firmly told that Her Majesty didn't do that sort of thing. Still, I think I may have got away with it.... for now. Karma rocks!!!