Posh Lady Client Came.... and Went

I have kept a very low profile ever since the whole fish flavoured olive oil incident. I thought it for the best. You may recall The Owner went out for the day and left me behind, and he smelled funny. In the meantime I had found somewhere to roll, on the ground where he normally keeps his recycling tins and there appeared to be a contaminant in the shape of fishy flavoured olive oil which I did not enjoy and even a roll in badger poo did nothing to reduce the effect. A snooze on the sofa that I am not allowed on did little to make me feel better either. Right that brings you up to date. 

We have two living rooms, one is upstairs, and this has bean bags which I am not allowed on either but I can report that they are very comfortable. So I reasoned that he would never know if I had a quick snooze up there. This fish flavoured olive oil was really becoming a problem for me and I found that the bean bag did little to relieve the effects. What I needed was a blanket, that may help a little, or........ a duvet!!!! That would do it! And his bedroom door is open!!! He will never know, I thought. It worked! I felt much better and returned downstairs for a proper snooze feeling very much better.

It was getting dark and cold in the cottage when I heard the heating come on and then a familiar sound as I hear The Owner come wandering up the side path. But I can also hear another voice too, it is Posh Lady Client Hoomun! So that's where he has been all day! If I am lucky she may have forgotten the whole silage liquor thing and give me a Bonio. She laughs like a donkey I think, smells a bit like one too. So The Owner breezes through the back door with hardly a word in my direction even though I was doing my best ever "pleased to see you home" bounce. He casually threw some of my food in my dish, grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine which as far as I can tell was one of his expensive ones that he normally shows everyone before opening the cheap stuff to give to them and then disappeared upstairs with Posh Lady Client Hoomun. Why am I getting this feeling of foreboding? I hid! There was much guffawing up there from The Owner, and donkey laughter from Posh Lady Client Hoomun and then I heard the bedroom door open (I only need a crack in the door to get through, hoomuns need much more width). The laughter and braying continued for a few seconds before there was silence. It lasted for a few more seconds although it seemed much longer, when in unison I heard The Owner roar and Posh Lady Client Hoomun scream. Hmmm, they found out I had been on the bed then! Posh Lady Client stomped out of the bedroom and I heard her flop on the bean bag. A short silence and then more screaming. I was hiding behind the sofa when they came back down the stairs like a herd of cows in the dairy yard all squabbling and pushing to get into the milking parlour first. She flopped down on the sofa whilst she dragged he coat on and then jumped up quick and looked at the sofa, strangely close to where I had spent most of the day. I am getting the vibe here that hoomuns don't enjoy fishy flavoured olive oil either. Posh Lady Client Hoomun saw me peeking out from behind the sofa and called me "A beastly dog!" before running out of the cottage with The Owner hot on her heals in the closest thing I have ever heard from him to an apology. He returned alone a few minutes later, looking disconsolate. 

From the look on his face as he set about scrubbing the furniture and changing the beds I get the feeling we may not be seeing Posh Lady Client Hoomun here for a while. Well I didn't like the way she laughed anyway. But I did think it best to stay out of the way for a while.