The Power Shower

Well what a morning we have had at the new cottage! The Owner has been very industrious after a trip to B&Q. I like going to B&Q because there is a burger van there and Burger Van Hoomun always gives me a sausage when The Owner isn't looking. So we have developed a sort of routine, The Owner and I, for the use of, when going to B&Q. We get there and park the car, we both get out. We make our way towards the shop doors, (which I have got a little more used to now and am not quite so disturbed by them opening on their own) and I stop for a wee up one of the big posts at the front designed to stop little old ladies from ram raiding B&Q. Well thats what The Owner says they're for anyway and they must work as I have never seen any old lady, large or small, try and ram raid B&Q! Anyway, if I make a bit of a meal of it and spend ages weeing up the post The Owner loses patience and wanders in on his own and leaves me to follow when I have finished. As soon as he has gone inside I rush across to the burger van and sit and wait until a sausage is launched from the dark recesses from within the burgervan. Sausage chomped, I make my way into the shop to find The Owner. The good thing about this little ruse is that if The Owner is feeling peckish, which he often is, on the way out I get another sausage. But not today, I was barely into the shop when I saw The Owner come struggling up the aisle with a trolley with a very large box on it and loads of interesting looking things that I needed to have a sniff at. He managed to get through the checkouts without a shouting match with Manager Hoomun, mainly because Manager Hoomun went off on an important errand to the other end of the store when he saw The Owner approaching the tills. He was soon heading off across the car park with a certain sense of purpose about him. Back home, these very expensive boxes appear to have come with a free power shower. I don't know for certain what a power shower is but it sounds very important. I never understand why they never give him two allen keys in these boxes, one to drop and lose, and the second to do the job with. In this case it was dropped down the plug hole in the bath. I watched with great intent as things were drilled, screwed cut and cursed at, as the power shower appears to have morphed into a white plastic box on the wall with a slightly lopsided demeanour and a hose coming out of the bottom which appears to have a big kink in it. I was watching this thinking to myself he shouldn't be having a kink in that pipe like that. But what do I know? After coffee (and Bonios, had I mentioned that I like Bonios?) the grand ceremony of the turning back on of the water was carried out. Much to The Owners surprise, and mine, there were no leaks which there would normally be when he starts plumbing jobs. He was feeling very pleased with himself and immediately poured himself a large sherry by way of celebration. Then came the grand switching on ceremony and The Owner reached in and pressed a pad on the shower and stepped back smartly. There were noises from within but I guess he was expecting to see water come from somewhere at this point. Well he wouldn't with a kink in the hose like that would he?? The Owner opted to turn up the water a bit which produced a small trickle from the shower head and even more noises from within the white plastic box on the wall. So the pressure was turned up further. More noises, getting louder, still no water. So he turned the water pressure up full and climbed in to the shower to investigate. Now I am only a K9 (with breeding) but I am thinking that this might not have been his best move so far today. He would have been far better off turning it all off and removing the kink in the hose. But what do I know. With the noises inside the power shower reaching a crescendo there was a very loud bang from the power shower and a little plastic pellet from the pressure relief valve shot out of the bottom of the white plastic box on the wall, hit the bath, then the mirror and then made contact with the back of The Owners head as a great deluge of water followed it and filled up The Owners work boots. Water turned off. we are now on our way back to B&Q to get another power shower and presumably have an argument with Manager Hoomun about "products not fit for purpose" and of course forgetting the kink in the hose. I can't help but wonder if that, coupled with The Owners general ineptitude in matters of plumbing might be a logical answer and not some oversight in the design and manufacture of the product. But I do at least get a second shot at the burger van so I am hopeful of a second sausage.