Yesterday The Owner borrowed a posh car. I have no idea whose car it was but it was a very posh one. When he opened the back door to let me in to it he was waving a very cautionary finger at me saying "Now YOU had better behave yourself in there!" in tones that gave you the feeling that it would be a very foolish K9 indeed who did anything experimental in it. Then came the list; "No burping, farting, following through, weeing, dropping hair or licking windows! Ok?!?!?" Well there was more to the list to be honest but I stopped listening at that point. It ended only when he ran out of breath and then took in a sharp intake of breath and finished with "And breathing on the windows!". Well what was left to do??? I sat down very carefully on the shiny leather seats as I tried to memorise the list as we started our journey. Well I kept perfectly still trying not to do anything that I had been warned about as we drove up through the village and The Owner did his best to make sure that as many people as possible saw him driving this very posh car. I also noticed that this very posh car was also very quick and liked to let everyone know about it too! When we got to the bend at the far end of the village The Owner threw this very posh car round the corner with a deft flick of the steering wheel. Well I did check but I am glad to report that leaving claw marks right across the leather seats was not in the list of things I was not allowed to do. Although I am suspecting that may just have been an omission on The Owners part as when we got to the end of our journey, which was at Diesel Dog Daughter's house, and The Owner opened the door to let me out, he did groan rather a lot. Well I am not the one who was throwing this very posh car around like one of the very fast and very noisy cars that race right back the where they started from. Only we didn't, obviously, as we were at Diesel Dog Daughters now so we had got somewhere. With the front door opened just a crack a blur of brown fur shot through to commence the usual round of demented badger running until The Owner and Diesel Dog Daughter managed to corral Diesel Dog and usher him into the back garden. Diesel Dog Daughter has bought herself a rabbit it would seem, which I noticed straight away. I thought it was nice of her as it can sometimes get a bit boring bringing back the same green canvas dummy throw. It will be nice to have a bit of live stuff to retrieve I thought. Well, we didn't get that far! Rabbit moved in his hutch! Diesel Dog was spooked! And shot back indoors at an alarming pace! Well I think the door frame may be needing some of The Owners special duct tape soon. I wandered back in through the open back door, mainly because it is now incapable of closing again after Diesel Dog went through it, and found Diesel Dog hiding behind the Christmas Tree. There was something very strange about his eyes for the rest of the evening as he peered out from behind the tree checking that the big nasty rabbit wasn't coming to get him. Today The Owner is outside with a tin of shoe polish trying to get the claw marks out of the leather seats only by now he has had time to forget that it was his fault for throwing the car around a bit too much last night and he is now frowning in my direction very loudly. I think I may have a chomp on some of the biscuits that were left in doors for me over night last night instead. Just until he has forgotten about the claw marks or he has remembered who caused them. Whichever comes the soonest.
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