The Dyson!!!!!!

I was set about earlier today by that ruddy Dyson. I swear it has a mind and can move by itself! The Owner and I came shuffling up the road at lunch time, now normally I would have been bouncing athletically from sniff to sniff whilst The Owner does the shuffling but today, well frankly, I couldn't be bothered so I gave the impression that I was walking dutifully to heel.

When we got back he potters around the kitchen and makes himself a sandwich and pours himself a cup of tea then grumbles off through the dining room to go and watch the news whilst he absent mindedly spills the contents of the sandwich down his shirt. Now I get quite excited at this point because whatever he spills I get to clear up. If he talks to anyone about it he tells them that he doesn't understand it as there is never anything on the floor and yet he has managed to get certain stains on his shirt. Well with my lightening reactions where a wayward crumb or two is concerned it doesn't take a brain surgeon to work it out does it! Anyway, I'm sorry I digress, he was wandering through the dining room with me bouncing excitably on his heels when we had to go past the Dyson, left out after clearing up the remains of last nights little accident with a plate of rice for which I hold no responsibility but apparently all of the blame. Just as we passed it I could have sworn it moved! More out of blind panic than any reasoned attempt to escape I shot forward to get away from it and straight into the back of The Owner's legs. Just as well he left the Dyson out as it happened, I thought, with all that mess now on the carpet.