My New Duvet

I appear to be in the do-do AGAIN! In fact of late I appear to have been permanently in the do-do, it's only the depth that has varied. Yesterday's do-do has had an unexpectedly beneficial outcome, something befitting the status of one who has breeding. Have I mentioned before that I was born and trained on Lord Bath's estate?

The night before last, quite late, he, The Owner, was asleep on the couch pretending to be watching the telly so I took myself off for a quick patrol of the garden. It was dark outside, really dark! On my patrol I happened upon something organic in the garden, although exactly what, I was unsure, as it was very dark. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth I had a quick munch but the taste was not one I was familiar with so I was none the wiser as to its origin. Upon my return The Owner had stirred and was busy closing the house for the night so I retired to the boot room and snuggled up on my duvet. At some point during the night, and it caught me quite by surprise, my unexpected supper came back for an encore. Now I just knew that this was not going to go down well with The Owner so I tried desperately to hide it under my duvet but there was so much of it that it was sort of seeping out round the edges. When The Owner came down yesterday morning to let me out he didn't notice it at first, well, not until he trod on the edge of the duvet which leaked what was lurking underneath it and got all over his foot. I did check again in the light of day but I have to say that I am still not sure what it was. You may recall how the washing machine was on the blink, for which I was not responsible, which made cleaning my duvet one step beyond where The Owner was prepared to go for me so my duvet and half a tonne of soiled newspaper was deposited unceremoniously in the bin. I think Binman Hoomun may have a bit of a surprise this week when he has a quick nose through the contents of our bin to see if there is anything useful before it gets thrown in the back of the lorry. I think I may keep out of the way then. If they yuk and phew only half as much as The Owner did when he cleared it up I think I may not be very popular. Now I had some concerns whilst watching this about what I was going to lie on last night and was beginning to think that it may be the cold floor, but The Owner gave me a new duvet! Made of silk!!!!!! Now one is very posh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!